tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70507398748463901512024-03-12T20:03:18.890-07:00Solitary MusingsThe Musings of Best Selling Author Trevor Montague.Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-11042868351012503622022-09-27T00:32:00.000-07:002022-09-27T00:32:21.490-07:00<p> What a very strange week it has been in my world.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The ninth edition of the <i>A
to Z of almost Everything</i> was presented to my printer in mid-August for its
customary late September launch date, but on Monday I received an email from
Bell & Bain expressing their sorrow that “in these strange times” they had
got rather behind with their print queue and the book would be published a week
or two late. This was a bit of a blow as
my pre-launch publicity had been arranged for 27 September, however, on the
positive side this meant I was able to avail myself of their offer to update
various areas of the book reflecting the new premiership of Liz Truss. I
delayed my holiday to Nottingham taking in our annual Mastermind Club function,
rallied the troops and within 24 hours had updated accordingly. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My amended Author’s Note is reproduced below informing of new
content and highlighting the fact that I diligently updated to reflect the
status quo BUT of course, no sooner was the update sent to print than the
devastating news of the Queen’s death
became apparent.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I thought long and hard as to whether I should again hold
back the front page so to speak but as a life-long Royalist I felt I wanted to
do justice to the various threads running through the book and this would not
be possible in the small window of opportunity given me by my print company.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The many areas affected by Her Majesty’s passing relevant to
this book include the change to King in titles such as Master of the Queen’s
Music, Queen’s Bench Division, Queen’s Counsel, Queen’s Gallantry Medal,
Queen’s Police Medal, and of course the National Anthem. Terms such as ‘Turning
Queen’s Evidence’ and all reference to official duties such as Lord Lieutenants
being the Queen’s personal representative in ceremonial counties require change
as well as King Charles III now being the Head of State of 15 Commonwealth
countries. And of course the Order of Succession and Precedence has now changed
plus Prince of Wales. Stamps and coins will inevitably change too at some point
and it would be remiss of me if I didn’t give mention to the Queen’s funeral.
King Charles III will no doubt be crowned before the next edition so it would
seem apt to wait and update accordingly in the next edition.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On return from Nottingham I felt compelled to pay my
respects to our beloved Queen so I booked a London hotel and duly joined the
queue near my former publisher on Waterloo Bridge. As darkness loomed I passed
security and entered Westminster Hall to eerie silence broken only by the faint
sound of mourners’ sniffles, not least my own. I was overcome with emotion. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After watching the Queen’s Christmas Message last year I was
moved to write an obsequious but truly, not sycophantic letter to Her Majesty.
My missive did not warrant or seek reply but in light of what has transpired
the past week I am so glad I was able to communicate sentiments that are
clearly shared by many millions of loyal subjects. History will be kind to
Queen Elizabeth the Great; it will tell the story of a monarch, the greatest of
them all in my quite biased opinion, who turned perfidious albion into a nation
to be envied all around the world. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Having been a Christian almost all my life I have lived
through the changing ways society has dictated my faith be expressed and I was
always heartened by Her Majesty’s humility and recognition that the life of
Jesus was the bedrock of the Queen’s faith as it is with all true Christians.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The reply to my letter received on 4 March 2022, and signed
by Lady-in-Waiting Jennifer Gordon Lennox,is now a most treasured possession
and I feel so honoured and blessed I was able to communicate my undying love
for all that Her Majesty has been to a nation and beyond. To know that the
Queen read my letter and asked her Lady-In-Waiting to thank me for my ‘kind
sentiments’ means so much to me at this time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Author’s Note to the ninth edition of the <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">All the
information from the eighth edition remains intact except for three sections:
Current Affairs (noteworthy events of the past three years being recorded
across relevant sections rather than the normal chronological listing), General
Election results (2017 results replaced by the 2019 results), and minor Oscar
winners (2017-19 winners replaced by 2020-22 winners).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">New topics
include: Alloys, Antelopes, Apollo Space Missions, Closing Lines of Famous
Films, Currency Comparisons, Degree Classifications, Generations of the Western
World, Highest Mountains entirely within a particular country, Hottest Chilli
Peppers, John Creasey’s Pseudonyms, LPs - year of release and Highest Chart
Position, Metric SI prefixes, Minerals, Neologisms, Parts of a Horse’s Body,
Psychologists, Stirling Prize Winners, Television Advertising Campaigns,
Topography Terms, Video Games, Weapons of War, Word Meanings, and World
Heritage Sites – to name but a few.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">When putting the
previous edition to bed I was left frustrated by the uncertainty over the
imminent withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union and although
the post-Brexit denouement has yet to be unravelled in holistic terms, it is
clear that there has been teething problems, possibly contributing to
bureaucratic delays, acceleration of inflation, and decrease in educational
funding. On 6<sup>th</sup> September Liz Truss met the Queen at Balmoral and
was asked to form a government after the resignation of Boris Johnson. Details
of the subsequent Cabinet reshuffle have been included as stop press items in
the relevant sections of this ninth edition to prevent my suffering the same
frustration and I’d like to thank my typesetter Ian Taylor and Printer Bell
& Bain for being so accommodating.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Back in my
quiz-playing days it was the norm to feel a little under-prepared for
competitions as the scope for knowledge is ever-expanding and that blissful
state of nirvana is rarely, if ever, attained. It is no different now that I
have effectively become poacher turned gamekeeper and as always when faced with
this last opportunity to purvey facts, a snippet I consider to be of vital
importance, pops into my head and I am horrified to find no mention within the
covers of this cornucopia. So by way of redress I’d like to proffer that
Britain has four assay offices: London (leopard’s head), Birmingham (anchor),
Sheffield (formerly crown but changed to white rose of York in 1977), and
Edinburgh (three-towered castle); the term hallmark for these depictions named
from the London office, Goldsmith’s Hall. In addition, the Hallmarking Act 1973
states Platinum, Gold and Silver must also depict an orb, crown, and a lion
passant respectively, and since 2010 Palladium (head of Pallas Athene) has been
added to the list.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">As I write this
amid the first rain to fall since the UK Government declared a state of drought
I am reminded of a word I haven’t heard for many a year, Petrichor. Even the
name conjures up mystical connotations which are borne out in fact. It is
however difficult to define exactly what this word means, as indeed similar to
another familiar word from my misspent youth, i.e., prial (meaning three cards
of the same denomination), I have been unable to find a clear definition in any
of my dictionaries, hence it doesn’t appear in my word meanings section.
Petrichor is in fact a rather nostalgic smell offering better things on the
horizon, it is as well-known to us as other equally illusory, albeit optical,
delights such as the heat shimmer or rainbow. Scientists have established this
wonderful phenomenon to be caused by the effect rain, with all its variable
acidic properties, has on plants, grass and soil after prolonged periods of
aridity.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">So now I have got
that off my chest all is again right with the world! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">In the rubric at
the beginning of the Britain section of the eighth edition I suggested Surrey
County Council might consider relocating its administrative offices from
Kingston to an area which is actually within the county bounds and although I
cannot take any credit for the move I am very pleased to report this anomaly
has now been addressed and Reigate is the new home of the council offices.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">And finally, I
would like to explain that in the areas of this book where I have merely listed
a proliferation of names such as famous musicians, singers or sportspeople
without recourse to further expansion, the allusion is that I am very well
aware that in the modern technological world it is not enough to expect a
single volume book to have all the answers, if indeed it was possible to bind
such a tome, but conversely the importance of having a hard copy of a book that
can point you in the direction of further study and negate the so-called Google
effect cannot be underestimated. For aspiring knowledge experts I would suggest
as a companion to this book, a good world atlas and some form of access to the
Internet. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I hope you will
be edified and entertained when dipping in to this book.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">As always I have
done my utmost to achieve 100 per cent accuracy, but if I have fallen short or
you would like to suggest new topics or discuss existing ones, please write to
me via my website.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 9.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">At this point I
would also like to mention previous contributors once again as the original
book, compiled more than twenty five years ago, could not have been done so
without the invaluable help of so many of my friends some of which are sadly no
longer with us. Take a bow Kevin Ashman, Jeremy Beadle, Mike Billson, Mark
Bytheway, Eric Carden, Peter Chitty, Sharon Chladek, Bob Collier, Patricia
Cowley, Andy Curtis, Peter Ediss, Robert Edwards, Brian Ennis, Keith Fawdry,
Gavin Fuller, Phillida Grantham, Dag Griffiths, Paul Henderson, Chris Hughes,
Bob Jones, Will Jones, Ann Kelly, Mark Kerr, Eric Kilby, Mel Kinsey, Phil
Lewis, Gavin Loughton, Magnus Magnusson KBE, Jonathan Marvin, Ruth Benjamin
Marvin, Christine Moorcroft, Mike O’Sullivan, Anita Oxley, Trevor Parry, Peter
Phelan, Fiona Redmond, Craig Scott, Tony Sherwood, John Snow, Leo Stevenson,
Rob Sutherland, Geoff Thomas, Gordon Troughton, Ritchie Venner, Ray Ward, Tim
Westcott, Neil White, and John Wilson.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-64864312609377116212019-10-05T14:24:00.003-07:002019-10-05T14:24:42.536-07:00A to Z of almost Everything (8th edition) rises to No 1 in the Amazon book rankingsI was delighted to find out that after a day of promotional work the A to Z of almost Everything (8th edition) topped the Amazon book rankings on Friday 4th October across all categories - Wow!<br />
<br />
I'm hugely grateful to all the members of the public who have thought my book worthy of purchase and I know from correspondence many of you are repeat offenders and have bought every edition.<br />
<br />
I do believe this latest edition is the best yet with a thorough rationalization throughout and many new topics included.<br />
<br />
I must apologise to readers for duplication of two pages within the Art : Painting and Movement section but I can assure readers this printing glitch has not compromised any entries whatsoever and the section remains totally intact.<br />
<br />
I will ensure that subsequent print runs do not include this duplication.<br />
<br />
Your appreciation of my work makes all the lonely days and nights of research very worthwhile.<br />
<br />
Thank YouTrevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-1933129277992468412016-12-25T17:11:00.001-08:002016-12-25T17:11:23.570-08:00Beware Clair Rosina Hunnisett and Neil Malcolm Stuart John aka as Stuart <div class="MsoNormal">
First of all may I thank all of the well-wishers who have
been so kind as to write to me offering their condolences re the rogue traders
I have recently had the misfortune to be robbed by.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you too to all those victims of this loathsome pair of
individuals who have written to me to tell me their stories. I promise that I
will do everything I can to bring these people to justice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those of you who do not know the story I shall give you
a brief outline of events.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In May I decided to change my print company as I wasn’t
happy with the way the sixth edition of the <i>A
to Z of almost Everything</i> was printed. It had always been a Royal size book
but CPI Antony Rowe (Clowes) initially typeset the book incorrectly – not
leaving enough space for the pagination - and then omitted the side titles
causing me to have to have the book re-typeset for the second print run. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The book consequently had to be restructured in A4 which
effectively meant I earned no profit whatsoever throughout the print runs as
their costs were prohibitive to say the least and I ended up trying to keep
sales down to save myself money.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I placed ‘UK Printers’ in a Google search and a company
calling itself UK Print Ltd came up at the top of the list so I rang the London
number on the website and spoke to a jovial Welshman calling himself Stuart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Stuart’ immediately gave me the hard sell and told me about
how he printed work for the British Museum and had countless positive
testimonies. He went on to say he knew my typesetter and had ‘done a couple of
jobs for him’. He also told me that CPI were known to be a very arrogant bunch
and that he could do a much better hands-on job for me, would turnaround the
book within a week instead of the ten working days CPI took and when I
suggested I was taking a bit of a risk with him he replied “It is me who is
taking the risk Trev as I’ll offer you the same 90 day terms you receive from
Clowes so if you don’t like my work then you don’t pay me”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time went by and alarms bells started to ring as ‘Stuart’
became elusive. And then an email turned up saying that for the first print run
he would require the money up front. By now I had invested considerable time
and effort into the project and my deadline of October 1 was looming large and after
discussing things with my typesetter I took a sharp intake of breath and
decided I would have to trust this guy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Deadlines came and went and the panic started to set in. I decided
to copy my typesetter into all email as a precaution. ‘Stuart’ now became ever-
more elusive and just did not reply to the proliferation of email sent him,
protesting that something must be wrong with his filter. Stuart tends to have
an answer for every situation however unbelievable those answers appear to be.
He certainly didn’t like the fact that I had a witness to our business dealings
and on a rare group reply suggested my typesetter would soon get fed up being
copied in to email, to which I replied it was only until evidence of the book
was produced.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After receiving my
money all went quiet for some time but Stuart then turned up out of the blue
with apologies and said the book would be at the two wholesalers for October 24<sup>th</sup>.
He even gave me his mobile number so I could contact him directly. He never
once answered this phone nor was he available on the original London number
although on occasion a young boy would answer to tell me ‘Stuart’ was not
available but he would get him to ring me - he never did ring of course.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The catalogue of lies increased
daily but I was still disposed to believe the book was being printed as I was
being texted progress reports.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did however by now fear for the quality of the work as ‘Stuart’
had shown scant regard for any of his sales puffs and clearly was telling lies
about the turnaround within a week, the printing press he owned in Gravesend,
the dedicated hands-on staff, the work done for my typesetter, and the 90 day
terms. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was by now getting even less sleep than normal as every friend I told
the story too was convinced I was dealing with a conman and however plausible ‘Stuart’
appeared to be all the signs were there that this man was a complete and utter
fantasist, a crook, robber, fraudster call him what you will. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing ever
transpired as he said it would and then he became abusive and vague. He started
looking for trouble and for reasons to be disruptive. I decided to look into
this man a little further as nothing added up. I asked to meet him so I could
show him the book but he flatly refused and told me it wasn’t necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the morning of the 24<sup>th</sup> I rose from bed at 8
and received a phone call from 'Stuart' to tell me the book was printed but that
the binding was incomplete because he thought it was a softback! He said my
typesetter must have sent the wrong spec despite the spec clearly stating the
book had endpapers and a dust-sheet which are only applied to hardbacks!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point I actually cried on the phone, a combination
of the deterioration in June’s health and the frustration as my worst
nightmares were being realised. All my advance sales were cancelled and now I
didn’t know what to do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the beginning of proceedings back in May I had
informed ‘Stuart’ that this book had sold more than a million copies since its
first edition in 2001 and now this man ended our conversation with “Well you’ve
sold three million books what’s another few thousand”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a nasty
facetious comment that began to unravel the true nature of this man who had previously
ingratiated himself to me by appearing to be so concerned about June’s health.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stuart then gave me four further dates when the book could
be booked in to the wholesalers and justified himself by acting as if he was
divorced from the actual printing process and didn’t know what was going on
although by now I already knew he was a one-man band, a farmer at best, a cold
calculated thief at worst.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By now I had got an investigator onto this chap and on
November 17<sup>th</sup> everything came to a head. On the Thursday morning 'Stuart' rang to tell me yet again the book would be delivered “tomorrow” but
when I suggested that by now I should be on the second print run he gave the
game away by saying “why not increase your order now Trev and I can offer you a
much cheaper price” This instantly alerted me to the fact he had never printed
any books as otherwise how could he possibly give me the normal quantity discount
when the first run was complete?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later that morning I was sent two articles about this man,
one by post and another via email from someone he had also defrauded<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.printweek.com/print-week/news/1158748/print-farmer-leaves-trail-of-clients-out-of-pocket">http://www.printweek.com/print-week/news/1158748/print-farmer-leaves-trail-of-clients-out-of-pocket</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sent the above article to Mr Neil Malcolm Stuart John and as
expected he went into liquidation that same day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the course of the next week his case was escalated four
times and landed in the lap of the Official Receiver in Manchester.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clair Rosina Hunnisett and Neil Malcolm Stuart John are in
fact partners in crime and partners in life. They usually steal fairly small
amounts in the knowledge that victims would be dissuaded from suing as the
costs are prohibitive. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately on the same day that the truth was outed my
June had a suspected stroke and was admitted to East Surrey Hospital and also diagnosed
with a sepsis and urinary infection. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I explained in my previous blog June no longer has any
cognitive ability whatsoever and I was informed within days that she would
never be able to come home again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
June is still in East Surrey today, Christmas Day – awaiting
placement in a nursing home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I lifted her onto a commode as her diverticulosis
meant she was having one of her bouts of extreme diarrhoea. I was covered in
faeces and whilst I was washing my hands and talking to a cycling friend of
mine whose mother happens to be in the same bay as June, calamity struck as an
almighty scream and crash could be heard as June fell off the commode and into
some nearby chairs and table.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So that was June’s
Christmas, no turkey for her, in fact she couldn’t even manage any puree food and
all I could feed her was a little soft ice cream as she was able to suck it up
between her teeth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Quite ironic I thought whilst I looked at the distressed
face of this angelic soul who is universally loved by all and sundry. Tears
flowed for most of the rest of the day and my mind wandered to Clair Rosina
Hunnisett and Neil Malcolm Stuart John and I imagined them tucking into their
roast turkey oblivious to the dreams and aspirations of so many people,
including children, they have shattered by their greed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The couple have had three months to return my money but I
have heard nothing from them or their solicitors Tonner Johns Ratti although I
wrote to Jemma at Tonner some weeks ago. But……..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The mechanism has already started and I promise this couple
will get their just desserts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d like to thank all my friends from so many walks of life
who have offered advice and more in many cases. I am fortunate to have met a
lot of influential and able people through my career dealings from top
policemen and security agents to trained soldiers and elite fighting sportsmen.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Although I am grateful to all those friends who have offered
very real help in some very colourful and expressive ways I have declined all
such offers in the belief that this couple will eventually see the light and
repent their sins and return my money in full and perhaps also pay my costs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before criminal proceedings it is important to have my money
returned - I need it for June’s ongoing health needs – and I have started the
process.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the way, the article is just the tip of the iceberg.
Victims have contacted me on a regular basis and all the while the evidence is
growing and it is not just the fraudulent use of the cloak of limited liability,
in my case it is actual robbery plain and simple with no intent to give me any
consideration for my money. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because of their wrongdoing this couple are likely to be
liable in a civil action above their £1 shareholding but also criminally as
there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that my books were ever printed or
likely to be printed. It was just theft. It would be quite wrong of me to
second guess the outcome of proceedings but suffice to say I have experts on my
side and am very confident this couple will see the light eventually.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out of interest, their modus operandi is to satisfy very
small orders such as guide books and pamphlets but not on their own press in Gravesend
as they tell you because they do not own a press in Gravesend, and all they do
is take the money in and try to farm the work out to the cheapest bidder
usually in eastern Europe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So they are not printers at all. You or I could do
the same thing but farming is a scurrilous way to make money even if done
ethically if that is not an oxymoron.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So basically they take your money and
then try to arrange a print for you and cream the money off the top. They lie
by telling you they can produce in a week but as they do not have a press they
haven’t a clue when they can produce. On large orders such as mine they just
don’t bother as it is far easier to go into liquidation and then open up under
another name the following day. They were in liquidation from another company whilst
dealing with me which is why their company details disappeared from my search
engines.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is quite a well-oiled machine and my investigator has
discovered the authorities have been trying to nail this couple for 26 years
would you believe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On one occasion when Jemma from Tonner Johns Ratti emailed
me she suggested her client had not given me a date for book production and on
that fateful Thursday morning initially offered to produce the books, or part
order of a thousand, by December 5<sup>th</sup>. What happened!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What Jemma should know is that I was already expecting this
email as most of the victims receive the same email and usually a follow-up one
where the couple offer to pay back the money in instalments but invariably do
not keep to this arrangement.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the meantime my investigator traced the bank and the
address of Mr John and has been keeping him under surveillance in case he tries
to skip the country as even fantasists realise when reality beckons. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At one point I almost got my money bank via
Barclays but perversely I am glad I didn’t as I want this couple stopped for
good and feel it is my duty.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently Clair Rosina Hunnisett and Neil Malcolm Stuart
John aka as Stuart when he is robbing people at the behest of Clair, are
pillars of the community on Barry Island and have put it round the island that
their son is a Premiership footballer! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Neil rarely goes out although Clair was
happy to take in my written request for the return of the money they stole from
me although she has not had the good grace to reply to me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perhaps she thinks I
will just write the money off that I took years to save. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Isn’t it strange
though that I requested to be placed on the creditor’s list although we all
know I am not owed a business debt at all. My money was hardly cleared when I
sussed them out and you would think they would have shown a glimmer of human
decency and paid me back as it is not as if they have spent the money on
anything. Shows a certain criminal intent that does themselves no favours
methinks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes as some of my friends guessed they do not have a post
box at their home at 4, Pioden For, Barry Island, Barry, South Glamorgan CF62
5DD as you can imagine in their line of business with an ever-increasing number
of irate victims in tow it would only be a matter of time before someone
inflamed the situation – literally.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wanted to give these people three months to repay me
because as a Christian I feel honour-bound to appeal to their better natures
before deciding on a more decisive course of action.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time is running out for Clair Rosina Hunnisett and Neil
Malcolm Stuart John aka as Stuart and all I can do is pray that they face up to
the fact that they have stolen a considerable amount of money from me and
really need to pay back the money now to mitigate matters for themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Incidentally, my faith in British printers was restored when I contacted an old friend at Orion who put me in touch with the Glasgow-based Bell & Bain. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to say that Derek and his crew have been magnificent and despite it being the busiest time of year managed to produce my doubled order in double quick time to ensure I salvaged something of my usual Christmas market. The print quality is exceptional and gentleman that he is Derek even insisted on me sending him a signed copy as he is such a fan of the book - fabulous, what a contrast to what I've been used to.</div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com66tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-16521578342123002262016-12-10T03:24:00.001-08:002017-01-16T04:25:22.610-08:00My beloved Juney<div class="MsoNormal">
Christians often stand accused of being delusional in their
belief of a supernatural being that can becalm the mightiest of storms and give
hope of eternal life and the reuniting of loved ones.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I realise more than ever why I was convicted that
there is a God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel crushed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can barely come to terms with the fact that my June is no
longer coming home to me – not ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The woman that was my role model, guardian, lover and friend
since my teens cruelly struck down by dementia and now a bed-ridden uncommunicative
vision of beauty who doesn’t know me nor what is going on around her, the only sign
of life being brief periods of manic laughter that both frighten me and offers
hope of painlessness at the same time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
June is no ordinary woman, no ordinary person. June taught
me tolerance, love, understanding. She taught me by showing me and the world.
She was the same you see. Behind those closed doors June had the same smile,
the same disposition, the same huge heart that she showed every single person
she ever came into contact with.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
June was a one-off, a true one-off. To know
her was to love her. A peacemaker who hated confrontation but never found
herself having to compromise her values - she simply never courted controversy
or caused friction. June was never a threat to anyone. She would laugh at her
occasional silliness and mine too. I loved the way she could bring me down to
earth and knew I was as vulnerable as she was. I loved to observe her do her
thing; spread her love to all and sundry. Somehow I felt I bathed in the
reflected glory of it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Larger than life, the life and soul of any party, but
never crude, always a lady, no bad language from June. Gentle, kind and loving.
Oh so loving. No games, told me every day, many times a day how much she loved
me but more than that showed me that love. From our early days when I had only
a student’s grant to live on June supported me in every way. She was old
school. I would make the token egg and chips on a Wednesday and Saturday and
June would make the proper meals for the rest of the week. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I would give for one of her steak and kidney pies or
apple pies now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever I did June supported me. She would go to the track
and time me lap after lap. When I was off playing bridge or quizzing she would
often just sit in the wings and watch. When I was competing at something I
always heard her voice above all others. I was always amazed that June took so
much pleasure from my books. She was such a calm placid person I could never
imagine her getting too excited about anything and yet when each of my books
came out June would go to every bookshop she could travel to and ensure they
stocked it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My latest book turned up yesterday and I took my copy to the
hospital to show June but it was a futile gesture. My June no longer has any
awareness as the delirium overwhelms.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh God how I wish it were me in that bed instead of her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friends come and go, good friends stay, loyal friends are
rare. June was unique. I knew her. I knew her values. I knew what she thought.
I trusted her more than I trusted myself. I felt safe. Secure that whatever the
world threw at me June was there supporting me telling me everything would be
alright. And it was. June made it so.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Through all my flights of fancy June was steadfast and
remained supportive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
June was universally loved by all and could get on with
prince or pauper. We often played host to some of the country’s top brains and
whether we had Kev Ashman, Chris Hughes, Mike Billson or Tony Sherwood staying
with us her maternal instinct would come out and she would fuss them and talk
about ordinary things. She was the same with Magnus Magnusson and Jeremy
Beadle. She loved them both dearly but spoke to them as she would her brother.
No pedestals no side no front just made everyone feel special and most of all
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve always got angry if people disrespected June either
directly or otherwise. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the early days of June’s illness she had a nasty fall whilst
visiting my father in Weymouth. My brother thought this disrupted the holiday
and we fell out over it and I haven’t seen him since except for him to tell me
to “get off my land”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I did not have faith that I would one day be reconciled
with June I would be overwhelmed with grief. As it is I am constantly panicking
and find it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that June really isn’t
coming home and more than that she is wasting away in a hospital bed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The great June, the great unsung hero, my idol, the girl of
my dreams. How blessed have I been and how alone am I now? If I had no faith
all would be lost and I could not go on with the pain.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cannot help June
any longer. I can only watch as strangers dress her bed sores not knowing who
she is and what she has been to me and so many many others.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I would give to have her back even as she was a month
ago.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please pray that God’s will is that June passes quickly and
gently and is transported to Heaven and that we might one day be reconciled<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-82332448654067332042016-01-11T06:48:00.001-08:002016-01-11T06:48:08.484-08:00RIP David<div class="MsoNormal">
I was a little too young for the death of Marilyn Monroe to
really resonate with me and however much I loved George Harrison his stabbing
and subsequent battle with cancer made me feel a little relief for him in some
way. There are other famous international icons that strike a chord with me
(and most of the world’s population) to the extent that we remember precisely
where we were and what we were doing when we received the news of their
untimely deaths.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday November 22<sup>nd</sup> 1963 I was laying on my bed
playing a game I had invented called cricket – a high tech version of the ball
game requiring only two pencils and an exercise book – when my father shouted
up the stairs “President Kennedy has been shot”; Tuesday August 16<sup>th</sup>
1977 I was walking from Brighton Station towards the clock tower with my friend
Kevin Searle when we passed a man crying “the King is dead, the King is dead”; Tuesday
December 9<sup>th</sup> 1980 I was driving to Brighton to take an accountancy
exam when I turned on the radio to hear that John Lennon had been murdered; I
woke up on Sunday 31<sup>st</sup> August 1997 had my breakfast ready to go
cycling with my club and turned on the television to the news that Princess
Diana had died in a car crash; Monday January 11<sup>th</sup> 2016 I was
sitting on the loo when a text came through from a friend informing me that
David Bowie was dead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end of an era is an understatement. For me, once the
Beatles had split up pop music began to die and all I had to look forward to was
the individual output of the four lads. The only other artist I was interested
in enough to buy his music was a young shaggy-haired musician known as David
Bowie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was switched on to David the first time I heard Space
Oddity in 1969. The quirky voice, space age song and flared trousers – before
they became fashionable – were reason enough to find the man interesting but
over the course of the next four years my love was cemented. My younger brother
was an even bigger fan at this time and Shaun not only bought all David’s English
albums but also those in German and Japanese – something I soon copied.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me Ziggy Stardust lived.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also loved the fact that this monster performer was
influenced by some of the same things as I was. <i>The Strange World of Gurney Slade</i> was the most surreal television
show I can ever remember seeing. It starred the magnificent Anthony Newley and
in songs such as <i>Laughing Gnome</i> and <i>Love You Til Tuesday</i> you can clearly see
how similar David’s voice is to Newley’s. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In 1971 I became friends with David’s half-brother Terry
Burns and we shared many an adventure. Terry suffered from manic depression and
was institutionalised at Cane Hill Hospital in Coulsdon, Surrey but I often
took him for a pint to the Red Lion or the Victoria Club in Coulsdon. Terry was
a massive Neil Diamond fan and would always play Cracklin’ Rosie on the jukebox
and leave me to play his brother’s hits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before Terry’s ultimate death he had attempted suicide
previously and I remember one occasion when both he and my aforementioned
friend Kevin were not only in Mayday hospital at the same time but in adjacent
beds, both suffering from broken legs due to jumping off buildings. How bizarre
is that for two of my friends to meet each other in such a way!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the one occasion Terry informed me David was to visit him
I couldn’t resist going to Cane Hill but was totally star-struck and ended up
playing snooker with the charge-nurse on the ward next door without even a glimpse of my idol.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like all Bowie fans I followed David through all his
numerous changes of style and appearances, awaited his latest videos with
baited breath and was always mesmerised by his performances.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I only ever saw David live on one occasion, at Wembley in
1983 during his Serious Moonlight tour. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wow! He looked amazing with his quaffed blond tinted hair
but he truly was remarkable with a fantastic mime sequence, a rare sax solo and
totally live singing of all his greatest hits plus all his new stuff from the
Let’s Dance album – China Girl being truly memorable and sooo dramatic and
intense.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dear June was as mesmerised as I was and it’s such a
shame that due to her Alzheimer’s she can no longer remember David but at the
time she thought the concert was even better than when she saw her fellow Welsh
superstars Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose the only way I can explain my devotion to David is
that I even loved all those that loved him so I became a fan of Lou Reed, of
Velvet Underground, of Iggy Pop, of Boy George of Paul Weller (who incidentally
was a dead ringer for David in his early days) even though I didn’t really get
their music.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
RIP lovely boy x<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-90686556164762068652015-03-25T16:23:00.000-07:002015-03-25T16:23:03.741-07:00Alzheimer's UpdateAt the moment I just feel I need to write something on record as this God awful disease plays out it's dreadful scenario blighting the life of the most precious and special person I have ever had the good fortune to meet.<br />
<br />
June Humphries, June Humphries, June Humphries, I hear a thousand times a day as my dear June struggles to know herself let alone me. Trevor......., Trevor........A to Z of almost Everything I hear being mumbled under her breath.<br />
<br />
The deterioration in June the past 12 months has been quite alarming. Last Easter I managed to get away for three days on a cycling trip to the Isle of Man with some clubmates and although I had neighbours come in to feed June and give out her nightly medication I felt confident she was safe.<br />
At that time June was still able to shop on occasion, turn the television on and off and make herself a cup of tea on a good day.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately June has since become prone to taking midnight hikes, forgetting how to use a knife and fork, falling over, hearing voices, talking gibberish, wearing all her clothes to bed, leaving her food, constant panic attacks, incontinence, temper tantrums and despair! It is all that I have been able to do to get her up in the morning but more often than not I have lost that battle lately.<br />
<br />
The past four months have been particularly tough on June with a couple of bouts of hospitalisation after falls and another couple of respite stays in care homes while I was away. The first time I took June into a Shaw Healthcare home she was not happy and was so pleased when I picked her up to take her home. Last month I picked her up to take her home after a two-day stay but June didn't want to come home so I booked her in for another day. This was on the one hand upsetting as June was choosing a solitary life in care over the loving home we shared but on the other hand it also showed me that the time to let June go is not far away.<br />
<br />
I decided to take June up to Clumber Park, north of Nottingham, last week but it turned into a bit of a disaster as June spent the whole time in the hotel bed and although I got her up for meals, she just picked at them and even struggled with her new favourite foods of chips and ice cream.<br />
<br />
The worst of it is that I still see glimpses of the old June. Today for instance I happen to be running a temperature and June seemed to sense I was at a bit of a low ebb and she came into my office and rubbed my back and lay down on my office bed and said "I'll be good today". I managed to fight back the tears at the irony of June comforting me but it brought it home to me what a terrible affliction this disease is. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR<br />
<br />
And you feel so alone.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I get that feeling I used to get soon after my mother died and I kept on thinking I saw her in the street, only with June it is the pretence that she is sound of mind.<br />
<br />
I talk to June normally, I know she rarely understands but on occasion she will surprise me. When I see her laying on the floor with shit everywhere or when I have to ring the police when she has gone walkabout in the dead of night it brings it home that I am living in a fool's paradise.<br />
<br />
June is not happy, why would she be. June is not well, but who cares, even my own father last Easter on my return from the Isle of Man said to me when I rang him "Does June still have Alzheimer's"!! and at Christmas when I rang him and put him on to June all he could say was "the mean old bugger couldn't even send me a card" To a lesser extent even one member of June's family who June had supported and put up for a couple of years turned away although bless her she did visit June in respite and held her hands up to being weak and selfish.<br />
<br />
You see, June is a special person, always has been. She was my first role model. I was a teenager when we met and as she likes to say I was "a bit of a lad". June made me believe I could be anything I wanted to be. She made me believe that my unconventional upbringing was no barrier to my living a normal life. June is the only person I have ever met that has no side to her. She was with me exactly as she was with others i.e. loving and kind. June never had a bad word to say about anyone nor an unkind thought.<br />
<br />
June commands respect too. I swear some of my more high profile gravitas friends such as Jeremy Beadle, Magnus Magnusson and Alan Samson loved June more than they liked me, in fact I remember Alan, my former publisher, buying a new suit on one occasion when June was going to join us for lunch. You see that was June. A simple girl from the Welsh Valleys who worked as a shop assistant and domestic but who was every bit a lady.<br />
<br />
June's personality was legendary. In recent years she has hosted friends of mine from my sporting clubs but also the likes of Kev Ashman and Chris Hughes from Eggheads, Mark Labbett from the Chase and of course dear Jeremy. She made them all feel special and would invariably cook them egg and chips and was able to hold her own in any conversation as she kept abreast of current affairs and would devour the morning paper from cover to cover.<br />
<br />
I am talking as if June has gone, but of course the June the world knew has gone but I still see behind the eyes. I still see the goodness of her soul. I see the struggle for words and thoughts that is driving her insane. I feel her indignity although June could never be undignified.<br />
<br />
When I placed her in the homes I felt the staff knew June was a special one. Of course all our loved ones are special but I do make a point of telling people about June. She was a legend as a greengrocer, she was a legend as a butcher's assistant, she was a legend as a factory worker and she was a legend as a domestic, befriending doctors and administrators as well as her fellow workers. ALWAYS smiling, ALWAYS pleasant, ALWAYS kind and ALWAYS a word to encourage or make your day feel that little bit better for meeting her. When June was well, virtually every time I accompanied her to town someone would go out of their way to rush over and say hello to her or tell me how lovely she was.<br />
<br />
June is a one-off. She did voluntary work for the League of Friends once she retired and also for the RNIB. Everything she did was done quietly, but earnestly and meticulously. June always went that one step further than others and is quite unique in being universally loved and never having had a falling out with any of her friends or acquaintances. You see June was never a threat to anyone. Direct, plain and simple. Not afraid to speak her mind but always with a smile, a glint in the eye and a warm heart.<br />
<br />
I write this as much to remind myself how lucky I have been to have been loved by this great lady and how through all this apparent misery I trust that God will look after June and deliver her safely because she has done God's work all her life and I have witnessed it.Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-31571634209654716692014-12-17T16:47:00.000-08:002014-12-17T16:47:32.948-08:00Timing Differences<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Today I read in the newspaper how thousands of Jimmy
Savile victims will receive compensation from his estate. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Jimmy Savile, a man praised relentlessly during his
lifetime and only after his death was his reputation tarnished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
What is his legacy? What lesson will be learnt by
humanity?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Another story that caught my eye was the murder of Dave
West, a neighbour of Stephen Fry. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
This man made an estimated £100million from a string of
nightclubs and lap dancing establishments. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Dave West was known to live life excessively. His son “Little
Dave” apparently murdered him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Ask yourself this question:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Would you rather have fame and fortune during your
lifetime but be vilified after your death or live your life quietly with
dignity and modesty but risk not being remembered at all?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I specifically qualified my question not to suggest that
seeking fame and fortune was necessarily a bad thing - after all there are many
philanthropists who use their fame and fortune in a positive way (this is of
course how Jimmy Savile was perceived)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
This morning I watched Bette Midler sing that timeless
ballad <i>Wind Beneath My Wings</i> and as
ever it brought a tear to my eye as I reflected on my own unsung hero. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
This love song is the most-played at British funerals –
and why not – so many people leave this earth after leading good honest lives
and it is fitting they are remembered with love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I can recall countless examples of great people passing
without ever creating more than a ripple at the moment of their death but
during their lives influenced many. One such person was my old headmaster, John
Piper, and another was a friend, Val, who ran an adventure playground for many
years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I was pleased to read
in the newspaper this week that my friend’s husband who also ran the adventure
playground was honoured. Phil would be chuffed but it wasn’t important to him –
it’s not why he has been a lollipop man for the past eight years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
June Humphries is a lady that has led an exemplary life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
During her lifetime she has spread love wherever she
goes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
She is still alive albeit afflicted with that terrible snatcher
of dignity - Alzheimer’s Disease.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
June is a legend around town and I can hardly take her
into a shop without someone coming up and asking how she is or remembering
happier days when June’s always smiley face made their hospital stay more tolerable,
their shopping less of a chore or their bus journey more exciting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I have always known June was a true one-off. Universally
loved – love that you can feel from people, tangible love emanating from that
quality we all have to love those that do not threaten us, to love those that
show us love and to love those that are humble, modest and dignified.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
June is fading fast. She is barely there anymore but I
love her now more than ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
June growed me up so to speak. She gave me direction in
my formative years and she was my first role model.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
It is wonderful that June is surrounded by love and when
that love dims as the woman that June was fades more and more we will all have
our memories but most of all – God will remember.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
And why I named this blog Timing Differences?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
The thing that defines humans is our propensity to be
tempted very easily and to crave instant gratification by whatever means -
sometimes to the detriment of others. It is all vanity – transient happiness
but only the few appreciate that joy is the key everlasting joy rather than
fleeting fixes.<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-52200748817166182032014-06-05T00:03:00.001-07:002014-06-05T00:13:17.911-07:00Well done Cleggy - you're in the final of Britain's Got Talent yippeeI hope that all the locals will get behind comedy impressionist Jon Clegg in his quest to win Britain's Got Talent 2014. Jon is a smashing guy and obviously very talented, just like his father, Dave, who uniquely also won a major television talent show. He used to help me out hosting charity quizzes and can impersonate almost anyone.<br />
<br />
I'm particularly pleased for Jon from a personal point of view as I was with my brother in Weymouth when he was performing at a holiday camp. Gary loves cabaret acts but for some reason best known only to him decided to walk out as Jon walked on. We fell out the next day (the day I mention in my previous blog as the day I believe June's dementia first reared it's ugly head) and haven't spoken since so in a way I hope Gary watches the show and remembers back and might consider that his behaviour was a little disrespectful, both to Jon and to June and ultimately me his brother. I love him to bits and I understand why he did what he did but Jon's performance in getting to the final in a way makes me feel almost as proud as his father given all the circumstances. I have never actually told Jon or Dave this story but the circle of life fascinates me - vote for Jon if you want to see a really decent man taste a bit of success.Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-82003688563499597372014-05-24T06:40:00.003-07:002014-05-24T06:40:43.008-07:00Alzheimer's updateThe first thing most people say to me when first learning of June's Alzheimer's is "But how are you?"<br />
<br />
I think this is probably an empathetic response based on their own experience with the disease either as a professional or someone who has been challenged with it more directly.<br />
<br />
You see, to care for someone with Alzheimer's is not an easy process and it only ever gets harder.<br />
<br />
When you love someone and witness their struggle but can do little to relieve them it leaves you quite numb and becomes all consuming. Much of the time you are grieving for a person who is still alive. The professionals all warn you that things will only get worse but you cling on to the faintest of hope that maybe it is a misdiagnosis and a miracle will happen. On a good day (haven't had one for some time) the glimmer of normality lulls you into a sense of false security and you find yourself celebrating the tiniest of successes only for the stark realisation to quickly snap you back to reality.<br />
<br />
Doctors, nurses, psychologists and friends all tell me how important it is for me to have a life and not to let the circumstances overwhelm me. They mean well of course and as I say I understand that this is a natural response from people who know they cannot help the actual patient so try and do the next best thing. The problem is this disease makes you bare your soul and strips you naked of emotion. The guilt is always there. Why June, why not me or someone else who was less good than a woman who has only ever spread love all her life.<br />
<br />
I often contemplate when June first showed signs of dementia and I have worked it out to be a fall she had in Weymouth two or three years ago. June fell through a bus shelter when she leaned against what she thought was a glass siding which turned out to be smashed. The fall itself was nothing major, a cut shin and abrasions to her head which the local hospital x-rayed and found nothing amiss, but June's reaction was just out of character. June is tough but she looked so forlorn when she staggered towards me and she cried like a baby. At first I thought it was just shock but as the day went on she seemed more and more distant and was not responding in the normal way to concern. June spent the next few days in bed and I was very worried about her as everything seemed doom and gloom in her mind. The GP thought it was shock but I knew it was more than that. I'm not saying the fall caused the condition, I just don't know, but I do know that nothing was ever the same again after the fall. June became terrified of falling, terrified of cars, terrified of Christmas. I found her sometimes saying "June and Trevor" to herself just as she does now. The ever present smile was no longer there when I caught her unguarded. Yes, the clues were there but I was in denial.<br />
<br />
Since June was diagnosed officially just over a year ago things have worsened rapidly, almost on a daily basis. At this moment in time June can no longer cook, clean, shop, dress, bathe or leave the house and she is incontinent. All these things she could do to some extent at Christmas. Now a good day consists of getting up out of bed. It takes a lot of reassurance and a lot of cajoling. June is aware of her condition which makes it worse of course. We do not use the actual name, preferring to call it anxiety caused by memory difficulties, but she knows. She tells me every day she wants to die, she wants to shoot herself. She tells me that she has given up hope of getting better and feels she is only going to get worse.<br />
<br />
She sees things and hears things that stop her leaving her bedroom. The kitchen is often guarded by some unknown entity. She used to try and go to the shops but invariably never made it past the porch. I asked her was she scared of losing her way home but she told me there was somone stopping her leaving the safety of the porch. The frustration is now etched on her face as she is such a dignified person.<br />
<br />
The worst thing for me is the mood swings. If I forget to buy sugar I'm inconsiderate, if I show even a glimpse of frustration I'm accused of being evil. This is from a person who has no malice no temper and so it is at these times I am more aware than ever of her struggle.<br />
<br />
Fortunately the Lord gives me strength and June and I together will overcome. What would I do without my faith? Well I'm trying to hold down a full time job as a writer/publisher. I'm dealing with printers, newspapers, retailers, wholesalers, salesmen and the media on a daily basis. June is always here by my side, often in the sofa bed I put up in my office to save me the walk to my bedroom! I don't know how the Lord works, I long since gave up trying to second guess Him, but I do know that all this is for a reason. It might be as the consequence of sin but I rather think it is something else, something too complicated to even express. God only gives us what we can endure. He knows what is best for us. That goes for me, June and every one of you!Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-63035660086121339562014-05-17T14:00:00.001-07:002014-05-17T14:00:19.957-07:00Sun has it wrong again!Just thought I'd mention that contrary to reports the 81 year-old gentleman who The Sun cited as having the world's lowest heart rate has tachycardia compared to my HR which often goes down to 24 at rest and sometimes has more than three seconds between beats, so erratically slow that the medics have advised me to have a second ablation procedure. I suppose it was an interesting story but frightens me a little to know that my low heart rate is out of this world!!Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-947057039626456482014-03-31T10:53:00.002-07:002014-03-31T10:53:18.034-07:00Shame on you Virgin MediaSo my television went on the blink last week and I arranged for an engineer to come out the following weekend. I arrived home on Friday to be met by a very distressed June who informed me the phone rang and a "computerised voice" from Virgin Media confused her and asked her to press buttons.<br />
<br />
Now, June suffers from Alzheimer's Disease and cannot turn the heating on and off or even the television so I understand why this was such a trial for her. I immediately rang Virgin Media only to be told June had cancelled the appointment! I explained her condition and asked why they had phoned in the first place and tried to arrange something so this would not happen again. VM were most unhelpful to say the least and when I suggested that their system needs reviewing they became even more rude.<br />
<br />
It is not just the hundreds of thousands of dementia sufferers that could fall foul of automated calls but also children and a whole host of other minorities. I asked VM to remove my landline number and replace it with my mobile as I only use the landline to ring June and refer all other callers to my mobile - VM refused!<br />
<br />
I paid for a television repairer to come out and sort the problem but shame on Virgin Media for their lack of understandingTrevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-2069338199802495272014-03-20T16:11:00.001-07:002014-03-20T16:11:15.430-07:00A to Z of almost Everything (sixth edition) selling wellI received an email from the <i>Telegraph</i> today informing me that the <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i> had just become their best-selling book, overtaking Mary Berry herself - exalted company indeed.<br />
<br />
It probably tells us something about the human spirit that despite my ongoing struggles with June's Alzheimer's, my heart problems and the death of two friends, Ian Prebble and Mike Carter (both from pneumonia), this news offered some succour.<br />
<br />
Alzheimer's is a dreadful undignified disease and all I can say is June remains dignified - a woman who has spent her whole life spreading love to others and known by so many in Crawley as the smiley Welsh lady from the greengrocers and the hospital maternity.<br />
<br />
My health is fine really albeit a little rundown. I had a cycle accident in December which set me back and then I contracted the Norovirus and a general virus which led to a routine ECG which showed my arrythmias had become dangerous. My GP insists I need another heart ablation and has put me on warfarin but I am holding out for the op until I see my specialist, the wonderful Dr Gandhi.<br />
<br />
I was best man at Ian's first wedding in the 1980s. He was a great friend and training partner who was stricken by Parkinson's Disease a few years ago and had been in hospital since early December with the common complication of not being able to swallow (dysphagia).<br />
<br />
Mike was a faithful friend of my fathers. He was husband to the lovely Megs, who is the sister of the equally lovely Beryl, my father's partner. Mike was one of those guys you couldn't help but like, quiet, unassuming and constant.<br />
<br />
Ian was in his early sixties and Mike his late seventies.<br />
<br />
<br />Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-9034163907342526782014-01-20T15:03:00.002-08:002014-01-20T15:03:41.840-08:00My embarrassing meeting with the gentleman that was Roger Lloyd-Pack <div class="MsoNormal">
As I was early for a meeting with my former publisher Alan
Samson I recently popped into The Ivy for a bite to eat as the restaurant is next door
to Orion House. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I engaged in friendly banter with none other than the dear
departed actor Roger Lloyd-Pack.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I eventually said to Roger “If you ever write your autobiography
you should call it <i>And Don’t Call Me
Dennis</i>”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The dear sweet man hardly flinched but mulled it over and
then said “Yes, that would be an interesting title”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later on I was relaying this story to Alan when he remarked “Surely
you meant Dave not Dennis?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OMG the great man (both great men possibly) must have
thought I had lost my marbles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alan (bless him) commented “perhaps Roger thought you had
come up with an ultra-clever title”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If only - but the truth is I acted more like Trigger than Trigger himself – what a plonker!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-79226479809630765422014-01-20T14:46:00.001-08:002014-01-20T14:46:46.098-08:00Hats Off to the Holiday Inn, Sutton<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been roaming around doing all sorts of publicity work
for the sixth edition of the <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i> and found myself in
Sutton, south London this week. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a meeting with the manager of the local Waterstones I walked back to my hotel room in the rain so
decided to have a shower and eat in my room. I ordered battered hake and chips
with mushy peas, an ice cream dessert and a bottle of champagne. An hour later
I received a phone call from the manager advising me that the chef had sold all
the hake so would I like to order something else from the menu. I decided on
the Cajun chicken. I wasn’t in the least put out by this but when the young
lady brought the order to my room she informed me the whole meal was
compliments of the management.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapeau!<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-12511970780437419682013-12-13T15:55:00.001-08:002013-12-13T16:03:00.570-08:00Apologies for late publication of the A to Z of almost Everything (sixth edition)<div class="MsoNormal">
So the sixth edition of my <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i> has finally been published this year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I apologise to all those correspondents who wrote/emailed me
since the turn of the year as my initial forecast publication date became
impossible for reasons beyond my control. When the October date came and went I
stopped replying to enquirers as it became rather embarrassing. Every day for
the last month I have been bombarded with phone calls from numerous independent
book shops as well as virtually every Waterstones store in Britain. My
frustration has been immense as the printer seemed to have one problem after
the other all the time delaying things further. My former publisher, Little
Brown, have been absolutely marvellous in providing the printer lost files
(repeatedly) and have generally ensured the book eventually got to market this
side of Christmas.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The good news is that the book was finally published on
Monday 9 December 2013 and the feedback has all been good so far. The new A4
format seems to be popular and although the printing costs are considerably
higher than the Crown Quarto format of previous editions I feel my readers
deserve a larger less cluttered read. For the first time I have not made the
cut-off point the turn of the year and so events up to the time of going to
press are included. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My final apology is to anyone who is unable to purchase the
book this month as demand has been higher than anticipated and Gardners (one of
the two main wholesalers in the UK) sold out of stock within a day and Bertrams
(the other main wholesaler) have only 200 copies left at time of writing.
Another print run is now under way so all’s well that ends well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for myself – well I decided to go for an off-road jaunt
on my new cross bike on publication day with my pal Tony and as I was crossing
a wooden bridge on Tilgate Golf Course one of the slats disintegrated and my
front wheel disappeared causing me to smack my face on the ground and whiplash
my neck. I screamed like a baby as a jolt of pain seared through my neck and at
the same time my right leg locked up in complete defensive cramp. My first
thought was that my last remaining pair of glasses was broken so I was
determined to get to Vision Express before they closed. As I staggered through
the shopping mall I felt all eyes on me as one person after another asked after
my wellbeing. I didn’t make it to the shop before the mall staff insisted on
calling an ambulance as I apparently looked like the Elephant Man’s less
attractive brother. Whilst awaiting the ambulance my glasses were dispensed and
my faith in human nature was elevated a notch or three – we humans are good in
a crisis. Four days on my ribs and shoulder is frozen somewhat and I have a
mild concussion but I seem to have got away with it again and will be able to
enjoy the winter ice rink we cyclists call on-road cycling in the near future.
Incidentally, I must say a big thank you to my insurance company Allianz. I
phoned to report my accident and they advised me that although I insure my
glasses, I only have cover for accidents within the home. I happened to mention
that I trod on my penultimate pair two weeks ago but didn’t intend claiming as
I already had an insurance claim earlier this year after my mountain bike was
stolen from my shed. Allianz not only insisted I claim for those glasses but
also mentioned that a previous pair I broke last year should also have been
claimed for and gave me leave to purchase two new pairs like for like.
Heartening isn’t it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Merry Christmas to all my readers and even if you don’t buy
my books – WHY? – a very happy new year to you all and God bless us sinners –
even all my atheist friends on the Mensa forum who don’t believe in my God but
delight in discussing the non-existence of Him with me at great length and with
great passion.<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-69902575743895469522013-07-23T03:12:00.002-07:002013-07-23T03:12:31.135-07:00Uri Geller - master manipulator - or are the BBC wasting our money?<div class="MsoNormal">
So the man does it again - has a documentary shown on the
BBC about his secret life as a spy!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we pay for their output it would be nice to think that
programme makers cast a discerning eye over their content but how did anyone at
the Beeb consider Uri Geller's latest reinvention to have any possible interest
for anyone but those that believe that Ken and Deidre drink at the Rovers and
Phil Mitchell owns a garage in Walford.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I assume the double-page spread in The Sun - I Was A Spy For
the CIA and Helped End Cold War - (P- lease) was supplied by the other master
manipulator, Max Clifford, or maybe was a regurgitation of one of Mr Geller's
stories from 45 years ago! but hey it works - I'm blogging about him!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My real point here is that I have noticed a marked drop in
quality control of our viewing across all the terrestrial channels and I hanker
for the days when there was something to look forward to on the box.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the moment the afternoon quizzes are all repeats, YES
Perfection, Pointless, Tipping Point and Eggheads all repeats and at the same
time too - UNBELIEVABLE - CJ left Eggheads years ago but he still turns up in
repeats on a regular basis!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even the plots of our soap operas have suffered during the
recession and continuity has become non existent.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So Rob steals £20,000 worth of undies from his sister
Carla's factory without reprisals but a few weeks later Rob wins £36,000 from
the bookies owned by Carla's husband, Peter. Now forgive me for believing that
our soaps should be touched with reality but surely Peter would have turned
around and said something like "you can sing for your money and don't even
think about taking me to court or else I'll tell the police about the
robbery" - but no he decides to sell his business instead - as you would
NOT.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eastenders is just as guilty with Ian Beale being vilified
by daughter Lucy for taking back ownership of his businesses she stole while he
was in his Benny Hawkins phase. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When will programme makers and scriptwriters stop taking us
for fools and sit down and discuss plot lines and characters?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I refuse to even discuss the likes of Simon Cowell<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish the BBC would employ someone like my old mate Barry
Hearn as programme editor as he gives the public what they want in the sporting
arena be it the magnificent Prizefighter, Fish-o-Mania, Snooker or Darts
coverage. I am sure Barry could transfer his talents to the performing arts. On
that subject, I must praise some of the quality of digital channels,
particularly the Arts Channel. I tend to watch more of Sky Arts 1 and 2 than
any other channels as there is invariably something that catches my interest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Uri Geller - still doing the same sad old party trick of
mind drawing and spoon bending - the ultimate media pony way ahead of the likes
of Katie Price but probably blessed with the same amount of talent. Clifford
and the other 'jobs for the boys' brigade have a monopoly of the media but come
the revolution................<o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-14245182569149024722013-04-09T04:29:00.000-07:002013-04-09T04:30:47.248-07:00Doctor Who?I've been busy the past few months updating and revising the <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i> for the 2013 edition so have resisted the temptation to blog. However, I would be failing in my duty to all those die-hard <i>Dr Who</i> fans if I didn't make a brief comment on the latest series, and in particular the second episode of that series. In short, it was, as many online commentators suggested, the worst episode ever, failing the tried and tested formula of good plot line, bad adversaries and gripping finale.<br />
<br />
As someone who has watched every episode since November 1963 I rarely fail to find some value in plot lines and indeed the idea of the newbie assistant having carte blanche to travel anywhere in the universe has always been less successful than when the Doctor is summoned by SOS, but this lazy rambling episode had nothing going for it from the start.<br />
<br />
Matt Smith is an OK Doctor, a little one dimensional with no light or shade to his portrayal but perfectly acceptable and following in the long line of eccentrics since Patrick Troughton took over from the great William Hartnell. Early indications are that Jenna-Louise Coleman is a very talented actress and her portrayal of Clara Oswald is very good although I would like her to give the impression of being just a tad afraid of meeting all manner of scary monsters!<br />
<br />
No, the real problem I'm afraid is the writing. I know I've said it before (and contrary to what some respondents have suggested I have never met him) Steven Moffat is a master of planning intricate plots and, if it is not a contradiction in terms, in making the whole storyline believable. <i>Luther</i> creator Neil Cross wrote this second episode of the latest series, <i>The Rings of Akhaten</i>, and much as I hate to criticise any creative mind, he clearly is not a fan of the show in the same way as Steven obviously is.<br />
<br />
Please sort things out BBC<br />
<br />
RIP Maggie Thatcher - who could fail to admire such strength and character<br />
<br />
<br />Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-23479809751119744362012-11-30T13:16:00.000-08:002012-11-30T13:16:03.751-08:00Let's Pray That Maria's Death Was Not In Vain<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please say a prayer for Maria Santos Gorrostieta, a Mexican
politician who stood up to local drug barons despite three attempts on her
life. Tragically, the fourth attempt on 15 November was successful and this
36-year-old heroine was brutally murdered. Her story is one of rare distinction
inasmuch as this very talented doctor of medicine, who lost her first husband
to drug traffickers in 2009 and was herself shot three times during a 2010
assassination attempt, refused to yield in the face of overwhelming odds and despite fearing for the lives of her children remained true to her
Catholic faith and sense of duty toward humankind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first thought on reading about this story was to pray
that the perpetrators paid in full for their crime and also that Maria’s death
would begin a backlash against organised crime which is blighting so many of
the world’s great cities. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cannot begin to understand the magnificent defiance shown
by Maria but what is really upsetting is the lack of security for someone who
was clearly earmarked for assassination. What have we become?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The filthy rich get richer while the poor are dying in
misery and yet governments do nothing; organised gangs run many of the world’s
cities while police watch on and do nothing – only today I was stopped by a
police car outside my house when travelling to my local gym. The car came
roaring up with full siren and flashing lamp, the PC got out of his car and
introduced himself as PC xxxx from Haywards Heath and then thanked me for
stopping (what did he expect a chase down the dual carriageway!) before asking
me to turn my steering wheel full lock to check my tyres. I explained my car
had just had its MOT and had new tyres. He agreed my tyres were in perfect
condition and on my asking why I had been stopped and by any chance was it
because of my hood and dark glasses he replied “No, it was because your car is
in such a state”. I then explained that I had the car since new and after
twanging the side in the church car park I decided to keep it the past 12 years
as it has never let me down. I went on to say how I had washed it only a few
days ago to which he replied “you shouldn’t have bothered” before returning to
his car and driving off. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, although I chuckled, I was a little surprised that someone would be so rude about
the look of my car as I have always thought of it as quite a handsome looking
Fiat Brava, but why I tell you this story is that my first thought was the scant
resources of our police force were being wasted. My car has got 50,000 miles on
the clock is in good repair and doesn’t immediately strike you as a death trap.
I’m sure there are many cars on our roads that are equally old and many would
be in far worse condition than my car which is rarely driven.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought of Maria and the absurdity of the situation – this
crazy mixed up world where crime should be targeted and yet a PC’s shift can be
filled by the routine stopping of old cars! <o:p></o:p></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-9767971667280094602012-10-19T03:47:00.001-07:002012-10-19T03:49:03.449-07:00Congrats to Neil Black<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I was really pleased to see that <st2:personname w:st="on"><st1:givenname w:st="on">Neil</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Black</st1:sn></st2:personname>
became the British Athletics team performance director recently. <st1:givenname w:st="on">Neil</st1:givenname> is a great motivator and hands-on operator
(literally in his case being the team’s physio for many years) and is someone I
have a great respect for.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I remember when I was struggling with
injuries throughout the 1990s and became quite depressed and unable to feel
positive about anything. I saw every quack under the sun, from acupunturists to
Zen Budhists, but to no avail. A GP friend, <st2:personname w:st="on"><st1:givenname w:st="on">Peter</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Greenaway</st1:sn></st2:personname>,
who had just begun to specialise in sports medicine, put me in touch with <st1:givenname w:st="on">Neil</st1:givenname> as a last throw of the dice. Neil immediately
highlighted several muscular-skeleto problems and set about a course of
treatment that enabled me to not only begin training again but also gain the
bronze medal in the Zest Peugeot National Fitness Championships in 2000, aged
45.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I’ve learned a lot during my time in sport
and one of the things is to beware of fads, BS merchants, psychologists and
anyone who tries to reinvent the wheel. Saying that, science plays a major part
in the sporting arena nowadays and Neil is in the same mould as Dave Brailsford
as someone who will leave no stone unturned to give Team GB that vital edge in
competition.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Now all we need to do is sort out our
football team!</span></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-82916205183735993062012-10-15T11:11:00.001-07:002012-10-19T03:49:43.345-07:00Jimmy Savile<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I’ve been doing my very best to resist the
urge to blog of late as book commitments leave me little time for distractions,
however, the Jimmy Savile controversy has prompted me to vent my spleen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Obviously I do not know all the ins and
outs of every claim, indeed of any of the claims, but it is quite obvious that
at best Mr Savile was an odd, rather sad character whose behaviour towards the
opposite sex was inappropriate (at worst of course he should have been outed
and locked up away from society many years ago). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Only a few short weeks ago I was out
cycling with a chap who had bought <st1:givenname w:st="on">Jimmy</st1:givenname>
<st1:sn w:st="on">Savile</st1:sn>’s bike and we were exchanging stories about
his legendary charity fund-raising (only my dear departed friend <st1:givenname w:st="on">Jeremy</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Beadle</st1:sn> even comes
close to the amounts raised by <st2:personname w:st="on"><st1:title w:st="on">Mr</st1:title>
<st1:sn w:st="on">Savile</st1:sn></st2:personname>). A visit to his grave to
pay respects was planned…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">So what do we feel about the man now?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Well there is no grave to speak of anymore
and the press have vilified the man to the extent that his family feel
threatened by the adverse publicity. The same family who were so proud of him that they denied the case of the woman who came forward as his illegitimate daughter - perhaps that woman is now thankful for the rebuttal.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">But, and please do not misunderstand my
words, I cannot help but think that every person who kept quiet, be it an
individual or corporation, and who now says they knew of his lascivious nature,
are almost equally to blame for any wrongdoings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I just don’t understand why a blind eye could
be turned in the same way as I do not understand the reasons why my own
Catholic church ever covered for debauched priests. Of course I do not include
the alleged victims in my judgement as I can quite understand circumstances
where silence is the only viable option for the young and vulnerable but we
cannot condone the silence of so-called responsible adults. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">How often have I bleated on about the
dangers of nepotism and all its many guises in our every day dealings in life?
This is yet another. A powerful man perceived to be an eccentric do-gooder is
forgiven his many sins as he lays claim to a soft spot in the hearts of the
nation. Let’s be honest. We all knew he was odd and he didn’t hide the fact
that he could be dangerous – once admitting on a talk show that he could make a
phone call in <st2:city w:st="on"><st2:place w:st="on">London</st2:place></st2:city>
and someone up north could have their legs broken! But because of <i>Jim’ll Fix It</i> and his charity marathons
we chose to believe that his inappropriate looking fondling of young girls was
entirely innocent. I for one fell for it - and who can blame me? My mind would
tell me that this man was a surly, difficult reprobate but the BBC elevated him
to a level that made him untouchable. I ended up liking the man despite his
obvious shortcomings - but then again I had no idea that there were greater
demons in his psyche.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">And how can it possibly happen that a man
walks the earth for 84 years and is one step short of sainthood but then dies
and subsequently stands accused of the most heinous crimes? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Does it surprise or shock me? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Not in the least.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I have often said that human beings are a
naturally scurrilous lot both in word and deed. We turn a blind eye to
“loveable rogues”, we favour friends and family even when they are wrong, we
even throw out all sense of decency on a Saturday afternoon when we support our
football teams by daemonising the opposition. And yes, I have done these things
myself so claim no moral high ground. Our politicians are less corrupt than in
many other countries so we settle for the mediocrity. Is it just my age or are
today’s politicians a joke? Perhaps they always have been – maybe the joke is
on us. Having dabbled in local politics I can honestly say that the greasy pole
to the top might be paved with good intentions but in stark reality is a slimy
dirty business not befitting of decent right-minded folk and inhabited by
misfits, wannabes and reprobates. A sweeping hyperbole of course and a slur on
all those individuals who take up public duty for the right reasons BUT
unfortunately even those people become part of the system eventually
compromising their maverick good natures in a self-deluding haze of expediency
- or else they simply fade away as shrinking violets. It is these people as
much as the police, the BBC or showbusiness insiders who I blame for making
society the dishonest disenfranchised mess that it is. Until we nurture
politicians who do not throw us crumbs just before an election but who
passionately care about the ongoing state of the nation irrespective of
election results, we will always struggle. We will always tolerate the <st2:personname w:st="on"><st1:givenname w:st="on">Jimmy</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Saviles</st1:sn></st2:personname>
of this world. Just look at the inappropriate honours bestowed upon businessmen
such as <st1:title w:st="on">Sir</st1:title> <st1:givenname w:st="on">Philip</st1:givenname>
<st1:sn w:st="on">Green</st1:sn>, <st1:title w:st="on">Sir</st1:title> <st1:givenname w:st="on">Richard</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Branson</st1:sn> and <st2:personname w:st="on">Lord <st1:givenname w:st="on">Alan</st1:givenname> <st1:sn w:st="on">Sugar</st1:sn></st2:personname>.
Not wishing to belittle their achievements but hardly known for their intellect,
megalomanic tendencies, vested interests in all manner of areas and yet because
they scratch the back of certain political parties from time to time they have
power that is detrimental to an enlightened society. I will shout it from the
hilltops but no one needs more than a million pounds even today and all these
people should be taxed accordingly and the money used to float third world
equality. Let us not revere the rich and famous per se but instead admire their
deeds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Only then will people speak up and ensure
that the little man is heard and just maybe a fair society will ensure that no
child in care will ever again be abused – better still a fair society will
ensure that we no longer have children in care</span></div>
Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-10946354033612222252012-06-07T03:55:00.005-07:002012-06-07T03:55:57.697-07:00The A to Z of British (and Irish) Popular Culture<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">When
I decided to have a crack at publishing my latest book myself rather than
through an established publishing house I had no idea of the many and various
pitfalls I would come up against. I obviously took advice from friends in the
industry who had also taken the plunge and indeed met with my erstwhile
publishers <st2:givenname w:st="on">Tim</st2:givenname> <st2:sn w:st="on">Whiting</st2:sn>
and <st1:personname w:st="on"><st2:givenname w:st="on">Alan</st2:givenname> <st2:sn w:st="on">Samson</st2:sn></st1:personname> at Little Brown and Orion
respectively. That said, some of the things that frustrate you cannot be
catered for, and in my case the biggest obstacle was to find a printer that
could actually deal with books of the magnitude of the A to Z series. And I am
not arrogant enough to mean the importance of my books when I use the term
magnitude I literally mean the actual size of the book! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Various
well-intentioned printers attempted mock-ups of the <i>A to Z of almost Everything</i> but alas none of them could produce a
finished article that would hold the binding of the book. Try as they may by
reducing font size and page display all attempts failed so I decided to try <st1:personname w:st="on"><st2:givenname w:st="on">CPI</st2:givenname> <st2:sn w:st="on">Clowes</st2:sn></st1:personname>,
the printer that produced the 5<sup>th</sup> edition of my best-selling book.
Clowes offered me a competitive quote and are now handling both the physical
book and also the E-book. Mine will be one of the few quality books available
thus far as an E-book. That is not to disparage the existing electronic
reference market but the truth is the established so called quality popular
reference books such as mine have not been reproduced as it is felt it would
eat into their physical market too much. This might be so but my way of
thinking is that it is great for the reading public to have a choice and I know
full well that some people buy my books because they look good on the shelf,
other readers are diehard fans of the physical book, some staunch quizplayers
will no doubt purchase both formats (at least I hope they will). But even if
the E-market supersedes the physical, so what, surely the reader demand should
be catered for and not segregated against. As a former accountant I understand
the need to discriminate the sales markets but not the need to discriminate
against the buying public!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
very excited at the prospect of negotiating with retailers and libraries as I
haven’t a clue if anyone will want to buy the book in without the backing of an
established publishing house. And of course the marketing of my books has
always been done very efficiently by Little Brown, the sales team placing it in
all sorts of unusual markets, the best of which was undoubtedly <i>Readers Digest,</i> who sold almost 10,000
on their very first ad and it became their best-ever selling book. And then
there is the promotion of the book, the home team have always packed me off to
the BBC for a week of half-hour slots on BBC Radio stations around the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Ireland</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Will I have the same
facility on my own? It is all uncertain and even today when I thought the book
was in the can and all I now need to do was to set up some sort of payment
system on my dedicated website for advance sales I overlooked the small
question of ISBN numbers. I had assumed the printer would sort this one out but
was horrified to find out that it was down to me! The usual method is to
purchase an ISBN via a UK agent and the process takes about 10 days which would
have meant I was struggling to get the book out before my intended target of the
middle of June (as I have a short holiday planned with a Christian group in
Studland, close to where my father lives). I might still struggle as other
unforeseen circumstances arise but fortunately a quick phone call to Little
Brown seems to have solved this particular problem as they have promised to
send me a few numbers before the end of the day which is jolly decent of them
considering I am not publishing the book with them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One
of the prime reasons why I have not sought out a publisher for this work and do
not intend to for future works (although once I have failed miserably I will
undoubtedly bash down the doors of all and sundry with tail firmly planted
betwixt my legs) is to keep the costs down and thereby sell my books a little
cheaper than at present. Of course I cannot dictate to any retailer and now my
books have been increased to £30 it might be difficult to persuade them to
lower the price but that is the idea, and I will certainly offer retailers the
product as close to cost as possible in my quest to contain the price. Advance
sales should be £20 as long as there aren’t too many to cope with and I’ll do
my utmost to keep as close to this price has humanly possible, at least for the
forthcoming pop culture book and the Sports book which was originally planned
to be published via Orion but if all is well I shall now publish myself too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">And
what does <i>The A to Z of British (and
Irish) Popular Culture</i> actually contain you might ask? Well here is a brief
synopsis of what is between the covers. There is a promo video floating around
somewhere on Facebook or Youtube (Not sure about the website) but in a nutshell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Television and Radio<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">In-depth
details of more than 2,000 TV and Radio shows<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Including
comprehensive cast lists past and present<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Biographies
of well-known presenters<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">And
all the various reality show winners<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Cinema<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">In-depth
details of more than 2,000 films stretching back to the days of silent movies<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Including
comprehensive cast lists and plot synopsis<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Biographies
of more than 1,000 film stars<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Plus
all the famous British institutions, Bond, Potter, Doctor, Confessions<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">What
a Carry On!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Pop Music<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">In-depth
chart history of hundreds of bands and solo artists<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Including
dates and chart positions of singles and albums<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Biographies
of pop stars past and present<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Plus
every <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region></st1:place>
Top 10 listing since the dawn of the charts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Comedy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">In-depth
coverage of stage, screen and radio comedy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Including
Music Hall, Double Acts, Ventriloquists and Stand-ups<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Biographies
of hundreds of comedians past and present<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Plus
catchphrases, routines, novelty records and films<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Miscellaneous Section<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">In-depth
coverage of those quirky British Institutions<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Including
Beauty Pageants, Celebrity Mums…..and Dads, Pipesmokers and Rears of the year<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Biographies
of hundreds of models, presenters, soap, reality and sports stars<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Plus
Comics and Cartoon Strips<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">And
for the ladies – Magazines!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">And
for the gents – Classic Cars and Motorbikes<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
hope you like it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-7109160174968280622012-05-20T01:03:00.002-07:002012-05-20T01:07:50.561-07:00Why didn't they pick me for England?Although I am 58 in a few minutes and clearly a stone, or two, overweight since my recent cycling accident I am heartened to know that I am still good enough to play cricket for England!<br />
<br />
This revelation might appear
optimistic, surprising and even downright delusional, particularly as,
although not a bad player in the day, I was never even close to
international honours.<br />
<br />
So from whence does this apparent hubris
stem?<br />
<br />
Why do I feel I could have done a legitimate job for England
yesterday and certainly feel I could have equalled the contribution made by
the likes of Messrs Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan or Anderson, both with bat and
ball.<br />
<br />
After all England are currently the best Test team in the world
and I am well past my sell-by date, have a dodgy right knee, painful left
Achilles, and frozen shoulder to boot.<br />
<br />
Ok, as you probably may have
expected by now there is a pretext for my flight of fancy and it simply
tickled me that the England team went out to field yesterday morning for one
ball before mopping up the West Indies innings and then batted the day out
for the loss of three wickets. This means that despite both batting and
fielding on the same day not all the team contributed to the team effort. I
wonder when this last happened, if ever. Is there another sport where this
could possibly happen? Gabriel was caught by Swann off Broad and only
Strauss, Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Bell had a bat. This means Messrs
Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan and Anderson could have stayed in bed all
day.<br />
<br />
This is quite different from one of those days when two batsmen have dominated proceedings. England actually batted and fielded! How could you explain this wonderful game to someone not versed in its vagaries. Can you imagine the conversation at home with the Priors.<br />
<br />
"Hi dear, how did
you get on today"?<br />
<br />
"Not bad love, my pads were a little tight and I think
one of my under-gloves needs changing as I swear that's why I perpetrated
that errant throw yesterday"<br />
<br />
"Yes yes darling but how did you play?
You know as wicket-keeper you are such an integral part of the team I'm
always worried that you'll overdo it"<br />
<br />
"No no sweetheart a relatively easy
day for me today considering we batted and bowled"<br />
<br />
"So will you
require your usual massage"?<br />
<br />
"Too tired darling, the life of a
professional cricketer is a tough one you know; just ask KP he'll tell
you"Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-2615299580398739532011-12-15T03:28:00.000-08:002011-12-15T03:28:20.049-08:00The God (p) Article<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">From the time of man’s first disobedience humans have been striving to understand, develop and improve their environment and living standards. Even before Jesus walked this earth man had begun to experiment with photography and who could argue that the developments witnessed since the 19<sup>th</sup> century have not aided humankind in many areas, perhaps most notably in xray imaging and its digital offshoots.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">We now know almost everything we need to know about our universe and computer technology is such that the world of computerised virtual reality is heading towards computerised actual reality where touch and smell are added to programs.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">My dear friend <st1:personname w:st="on"><st2:givenname w:st="on">David</st2:givenname> <st2:sn w:st="on">Levy</st2:sn></st1:personname> has put forward a powerfully reasoned thesis in his book <i>Love + Sex with Robots</i> where he postulates that humans will soon be having relationships with aesthetically fashioned machines cutting out all the baggage that goes with human interactions. Again, who could argue that within this world which is biased towards the ‘cool’ and beautiful, a large proportion of us wouldn't opt for unconditional love. Would a machine that could actually talk our language be any less beguiling than a pet animal?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">The latest development to excite the world of science as a direct result of photography is the possibility of the Higgs boson hypothesis becoming proven. The so-called ‘God Particle’, which is perhaps aptly named as man seeks to become all-knowing, is being investigated with the help of the Large Hadron Collider (the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator) which lies in a tunnel 27 kilometres (17 miles) in circumference and as deep as 175 metres (574 ft) beneath the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland. The LHC is expected to address some of the most fundamental questions of physics, advancing the understanding of the deepest laws of nature. The possibilities are endless. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">As a Christian I am wary. In Genesis: 11 the Bible tells us of man’s self-indulgence and arrogance in deciding to build a tower up to Heaven. God in His infinite wisdom, knew this "stairway to heaven" would only lead the people away from Him. He noted the powerful force within their unity of purpose. As a result, He confused their language, causing them to speak in different tongues so they could not understand each other. By doing this, God thwarted their plans. He also scattered the people of the city all over the face of the earth. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">To me there is a fine line between using technology to alleviate misery and suffering within the wonderful gift of freewill granted us, and using technology to interfere with nature and all its beauty. We often gauge the price we are paying for some of our advancements in terms of carbon footprinting but hardly ever consider the deeper aspects of our meddling. We as humans have a very cavalier approach to science and some academic institutes are undoubtedly only concerned in making a name for themselves; and its individuals in winning laureates. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">In the wide spectrum of life, taking all things into consideration, are any of these technological advancements a boon to society? It is not for me to comment. The question is a complex one and the answer almost unfathomable. As we prolong our lives quite artificially, and increasingly against the previously accepted ‘laws’ of nature, can we honestly say this is a good thing? After all, one of the promises that God made to us is that we would have eternal life if we kept the faith. This has always been one of the most appealing aspects of Christianity, however the life we are promised is one that is so good that it is unimaginable to us, especially from the viewpoint we have as lucid individuals.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">We cannot replicate God’s promise. The economic laws we learn at a rudimentary level tell us that sometimes we have to be thrifty in order to safeguard our future. You might know the story of <st2:givenname w:st="on">Joseph</st2:givenname> and how he budgeted for the seven years of famine and built up stocks so the effect was neglible in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Egypt</st1:place></st1:country-region>. This is the classic model of prevention of boom and bust that the world is experiencing so painfully right now. When we defy these laws of nature we pay a price that cannot always be quantified. Let’s be honest, it is doom and gloom wherever you go nowadays. <i>Eastenders</i> is almost light relief these days!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">I am of course being facetious but all I am trying to say is that to my mind there are far better ways to use our scant resources than on the LHC in search of the God Particle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">If the world’s monetary resources were spread more evenly then there would be more joy in the world. Humans would still strive to better themselves in order to better others. Sloth would be prevented by a new ethos of love and understanding of others.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">We have all experienced momentary selflessness whether it be a charitable donation, unconditional love of a child or unpremeditated heroic gesture. When this becomes the accepted norm instead of a situation where we elevate perpetrators then we know that we are moving in the right direction.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">As human beings immersed in original sin we can only reach this idyllic state with God's help. All those people who say "I am a good person and do not sin" think about those nasty thoughts they experienced the next time someone cuts them up in their car. Think about the time they lost their temper last, perhaps irrationally. Think about the time they did not give their brother or sister the benefit of the doubt and chose to be indifferent. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">We all sin and our sin becomes acceptable to us over time unless we are reigned in like children.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">God is our father, we the naughty children that need growing up. Many of us never grow up.</span></div>Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-41268012664556569452011-11-30T14:45:00.000-08:002011-11-30T14:45:00.544-08:00My day in courtToday I attended Horsham Magistrate’s Court for contravening a red traffic light and it was a very emotional and costly experience.<br />
<br />
<br />
Of course I knew I didn’t stand a chance of having my plea of innocence upheld as the integrity of the Gatso Cameras have to be maintained by the magistrates - and I certainly couldn’t prove the camera was faulty. <br />
<br />
As it happened the numerous hours I had spent compiling four DVDs of the troublesome traffic lights meant precious little as the court did not bother to look at them as the legal expert did not feel it would prove the camera was not working properly – my only real defence.<br />
<br />
On the 4th May I was driving through Three Bridges at 1.52pm and passed through an amber light on one of those systems with another set of complimentary lights on the other side of the junction. Unfortunately as I passed through the first set the complimentary set then changed to red so I was stuck in the middle of a busy junction and had to drive on through that red light. <br />
<br />
I was served a summons two weeks later although didn’t understand initially that I was being accused of driving through the first light three seconds after it had become red.<br />
<br />
I remember very well going through the first light on amber and I remember very well it changing to red a car’s length after I passed it as I could plainly see the complimentary set change before my eyes. <br />
<br />
On filming the lights I noticed that four seconds after these lights went red traffic invariably came out of the junction road (St Mary’s Drive) but in my case there was not another car to be seen on the junction. This doesn’t of course prove I am innocent but the second picture they sent me had me in the middle of the junction four seconds after the light had changed to red so the clues are there that something was not normal.<br />
<br />
Apart from the fact that you would have to be stupid to go through a red light on a very busy road junction three seconds after it was red my memory of the incident is very clear and unequivocal. Of course it is possible that I had an aberration of some sort, after all a member of my family once accused me of swearing at them and yet my recollection was that I couldn’t have done as I simply don’t swear and never have. As the years have gone by I have often questioned the truth of the incident and this episode has brought it to the fore once again. <br />
<br />
I can assure you that if I were wrong about the traffic light it would not be a question of me lying to save some money, God forbid I would have saved in the region of £500 by not going to court on a fool’s errand. No, as a Christian I would never lie under oath, and in fact I found myself being so truthful that when asked whether I had seen the flash of the camera I replied “No, but then again when I got caught three times on the same day on a speed camera outside my home in 2001, I did not see any of the flashes then either”. <br />
<br />
I think the magistrates believed I was earnest, if not deluded, but the truth is can our memories of things be trusted. My memory is very good and yet I am the most absent-minded person on earth so is it possible that my memory of the incident was built after the fact and I did indeed travel through a set of lights on red totally oblivious to what I was doing.?<br />
<br />
The truth is otherwise in my mind. It was a vivid memory at the time and when I parked my car two minutes later in Pound Hill I thought about the incident and I remember hoping that I made the light without penalty as I was acutely aware that it was a close shave. <br />
<br />
No, I feel one hundred per cent certain the events happened exactly as I remember and yet how could my car be in a picture that shows a digital representation of the camera information depicting ‘03’ meaning I had crossed the light three seconds after it became red!!<br />
<br />
Answers please on a postcard to confused of BewbushTrevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7050739874846390151.post-20254123415311050842011-11-08T13:43:00.000-08:002011-11-08T13:43:21.913-08:00We are Family!Lately I have felt like I have entered a world somewhere between The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits and I have just been waiting for normal service to be resumed as soon as possible.<br />
<br />
<br />
This year has been surreal ; awful in many respects. <br />
<br />
The past few months have given me time for reflection and there has been a lot to reflect on as I seem not to be coping with my ‘accident’ as well as I thought I was. <br />
<br />
Perhaps it is the niggling pains, the thought of being indisposed for months, the sleeplessness or just the sense of loss at feeling unable to ever again take part in my long-time sport of cycle racing – who knows?<br />
<br />
I have some fantastic friends and I know it is a cliché but without them I don’t know how I would have coped at all. I have been up and down, feeling I’m going to die one moment and then feeling strong the next. When I’m in a car I find myself terrified of traffic and any threat or fear, however slight, is causing my body to flood with adrenalin, causing breathlessness and dizziness. One Friday evening recently, a short walk to the end of the road turned into a fight for survival as my heart began to thud out of control forcing me to drop to my knees tearing clumps of grass in confusion. I understand now how my dear sister was terrified of traffic after being involved in a serious car accident in August 1966.<br />
<br />
I have felt such a wuss of late and at one point my closest friend actually begged me to ‘man up’. I believe these episodes are panic attacks and can be brought on by the anxiety of chronic illness. It still doesn’t sit well with me though as I feel my faith should be enough to prevent any feelings of anxiety. One of my favourite biblical passages is in Matthew 6 where we are told that we cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying. It is evidently true and yet in moments of crisis we let ourselves fall into the devil’s trap of self awareness and pity. One of the injuries I sustained in August was a hole in my left ear. This has caused me to develop a constant high-pitched noise which I tend to negate by leaving the television on at night to give myself some background noise. I turn the TV off at some point during the night and immediately become aware of the noise and what I began to do was to believe it was all doom and gloom instead of thinking it was just a temporary blip that will pass – all things inevitably do. I have now put all negative thoughts out of my mind since I’ve been back to church and able to read my bible again. <br />
<br />
As I say, my friends have been great. I’ve been overwhelmed with lifts and gifts, including my erstwhile bête noire of an Amazon Kindle. God forbid, these infernal machines, that have been responsible for seriously depleting my hard copy sale, are actually quite useful when one only has one good hand. <br />
<br />
As always when I suffer stress or grief my mind turns to family. Who actually are my family?<br />
<br />
I have five siblings who for one reason or another are estranged to me. I have never really come to terms with it, as unrequited love is never pleasant and within a family circle it is confusing and frustrating and creates great sadness. I know I am to blame for much of it although I don’t really see it as a blame issue at all. We had a quite unusual upbringing and amid our laughter and joy was some sadness. This sadness was rarely spoken about but in our own individual minds I know it was there. We became islands and did not let each other in too much for the simple reason we knew of each other’s trials and tribulations and our way of dealing with it all was to escape into our own worlds.<br />
<br />
I have however found great relief within the scriptures.<br />
<br />
Jesus teaches us that family is our Christian fellowship group - with God at the head of the family.<br />
<br />
I know I have had lots of people praying for me lately and this has given me enormous strength.<br />
<br />
My own faith too, although peppered with moments of self-indulgence and anger at why I should be in this present predicament, has also fortified my vulnerable natural state. I can make some sense of it all above the randomness of earthly misfortunes, in fact it is the Christian way to look within ourselves at times of crises and to put our houses in order if needs be. Sometimes we reason that God has been trying to tell us something and we have refused to listen. Please don’t misunderstand that I am suggesting that God punishes us for being stubborn although in my darkest moments I’d be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. No, my natural self tells me that I am so flawed and insignificant that God would never be bothered with the likes of me, but my Christian beliefs help me understand that we are all significant to God so some rationalisation is required.<br />
<br />
In my case my life does need tweaking. I have lived selfishly as a sportsman for so many years and even through illness and injury and a doctor’s warning not to cycle any more I have persevered. Sometimes I wonder if it defines me as a person. I gave up quizzing partly because I felt the time allocation was too great and yet I spend hours down the gym and hours more out on my bike.<br />
<br />
I have also struggled with gambling and celibacy over the years, the former I used to accommodate by promising God I would never gamble during the forty days of Lent and the latter I would reason was a natural inclination to share one’s life in holy matrimony. <br />
<br />
So who do I consider to be my family?<br />
<br />
Of course my blood ties are unbreakable and I live in hope of reconciliation. I actually knocked on the door of my dear brother Gary only the other day and although I prayed beforehand that I might say the right things unfortunately he wasn’t at home so I didn’t get the chance to say anything at all. I think he knows I love him though so all is well.<br />
<br />
Can people you don’t see be family? <br />
<br />
Yes they can. Jesus teaches us that our family are all those people that share the same vision, the same hope and the same faith. When His mother and brothers came to visit Him once He made a point of remarking, while pointing to all His followers, that these are my family. My closest Christian friend is as much family as any of my blood relatives but also all those Christians I might not know the name of are equally considered to be family.<br />
<br />
Don’t we all feel supportive of fellow members of clubs and societies? <br />
<br />
I pray that my blood relatives are Christian or at least will one day be so. Quite often the state of Christianity is a mere timing difference!Trevor Montaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491722954864917588noreply@blogger.com0