Doctor Who?

I've been busy the past few months updating and revising the A to Z of almost Everything for the 2013 edition so have resisted the temptation to blog. However, I would be failing in my duty to all those die-hard Dr Who fans if I didn't make a brief comment on the latest series, and in particular the second episode of that series. In short, it was, as many online commentators suggested, the worst episode ever, failing the tried and tested formula of good plot line, bad adversaries and gripping finale.

As someone who has watched every episode since November 1963 I rarely fail to find some value in plot lines and indeed the idea of the newbie assistant having carte blanche to travel anywhere in the universe has always been less successful than when the Doctor is summoned by SOS, but this lazy rambling episode had nothing going for it from the start.

Matt Smith is an OK Doctor, a little one dimensional with no light or shade to his portrayal but perfectly acceptable and following in the long line of eccentrics since Patrick Troughton took over from the great William Hartnell. Early indications are that Jenna-Louise Coleman is a very talented actress and her portrayal of Clara Oswald is very good although I would like her to give the impression of being just a tad afraid of meeting all manner of scary monsters!

No, the real problem I'm afraid is the writing. I know I've said it before (and contrary to what some respondents have suggested I have never met him) Steven Moffat is a master of planning intricate plots and, if it is not a contradiction in terms, in making the whole storyline believable. Luther creator Neil Cross wrote this second episode of the latest series, The Rings of Akhaten, and much as I hate to criticise any creative mind, he clearly is not a fan of the show in the same way as Steven obviously is.

Please sort things out BBC

RIP Maggie Thatcher - who could fail to admire such strength and character

Let's Pray That Maria's Death Was Not In Vain

Please say a prayer for Maria Santos Gorrostieta, a Mexican politician who stood up to local drug barons despite three attempts on her life. Tragically, the fourth attempt on 15 November was successful and this 36-year-old heroine was brutally murdered. Her story is one of rare distinction inasmuch as this very talented doctor of medicine, who lost her first husband to drug traffickers in 2009 and was herself shot three times during a 2010 assassination attempt, refused to yield in the face of overwhelming odds and despite fearing for the lives of her children remained true to her Catholic faith and sense of duty toward humankind.

My first thought on reading about this story was to pray that the perpetrators paid in full for their crime and also that Maria’s death would begin a backlash against organised crime which is blighting so many of the world’s great cities.

I cannot begin to understand the magnificent defiance shown by Maria but what is really upsetting is the lack of security for someone who was clearly earmarked for assassination. What have we become?

The filthy rich get richer while the poor are dying in misery and yet governments do nothing; organised gangs run many of the world’s cities while police watch on and do nothing – only today I was stopped by a police car outside my house when travelling to my local gym. The car came roaring up with full siren and flashing lamp, the PC got out of his car and introduced himself as PC xxxx from Haywards Heath and then thanked me for stopping (what did he expect a chase down the dual carriageway!) before asking me to turn my steering wheel full lock to check my tyres. I explained my car had just had its MOT and had new tyres. He agreed my tyres were in perfect condition and on my asking why I had been stopped and by any chance was it because of my hood and dark glasses he replied “No, it was because your car is in such a state”. I then explained that I had the car since new and after twanging the side in the church car park I decided to keep it the past 12 years as it has never let me down. I went on to say how I had washed it only a few days ago to which he replied “you shouldn’t have bothered” before returning to his car and driving off.

Yes, although I chuckled, I was a little surprised that someone would be so rude about the look of my car as I have always thought of it as quite a handsome looking Fiat Brava, but why I tell you this story is that my first thought was the scant resources of our police force were being wasted. My car has got 50,000 miles on the clock is in good repair and doesn’t immediately strike you as a death trap. I’m sure there are many cars on our roads that are equally old and many would be in far worse condition than my car which is rarely driven.

I thought of Maria and the absurdity of the situation – this crazy mixed up world where crime should be targeted and yet a PC’s shift can be filled by the routine stopping of old cars! 

Congrats to Neil Black

I was really pleased to see that Neil Black became the British Athletics team performance director recently. Neil is a great motivator and hands-on operator (literally in his case being the team’s physio for many years) and is someone I have a great respect for.

I remember when I was struggling with injuries throughout the 1990s and became quite depressed and unable to feel positive about anything. I saw every quack under the sun, from acupunturists to Zen Budhists, but to no avail. A GP friend, Peter Greenaway, who had just begun to specialise in sports medicine, put me in touch with Neil as a last throw of the dice. Neil immediately highlighted several muscular-skeleto problems and set about a course of treatment that enabled me to not only begin training again but also gain the bronze medal in the Zest Peugeot National Fitness Championships in 2000, aged 45.

I’ve learned a lot during my time in sport and one of the things is to beware of fads, BS merchants, psychologists and anyone who tries to reinvent the wheel. Saying that, science plays a major part in the sporting arena nowadays and Neil is in the same mould as Dave Brailsford as someone who will leave no stone unturned to give Team GB that vital edge in competition.

Now all we need to do is sort out our football team!

Jimmy Savile

I’ve been doing my very best to resist the urge to blog of late as book commitments leave me little time for distractions, however, the Jimmy Savile controversy has prompted me to vent my spleen.

Obviously I do not know all the ins and outs of every claim, indeed of any of the claims, but it is quite obvious that at best Mr Savile was an odd, rather sad character whose behaviour towards the opposite sex was inappropriate (at worst of course he should have been outed and locked up away from society many years ago).

Only a few short weeks ago I was out cycling with a chap who had bought Jimmy Savile’s bike and we were exchanging stories about his legendary charity fund-raising (only my dear departed friend Jeremy Beadle even comes close to the amounts raised by Mr Savile). A visit to his grave to pay respects was planned…

So what do we feel about the man now?

Well there is no grave to speak of anymore and the press have vilified the man to the extent that his family feel threatened by the adverse publicity. The same family who were so proud of him that they denied the case of the woman who came forward as his illegitimate daughter - perhaps that woman is now thankful for the rebuttal.

But, and please do not misunderstand my words, I cannot help but think that every person who kept quiet, be it an individual or corporation, and who now says they knew of his lascivious nature, are almost equally to blame for any wrongdoings.

I just don’t understand why a blind eye could be turned in the same way as I do not understand the reasons why my own Catholic church ever covered for debauched priests. Of course I do not include the alleged victims in my judgement as I can quite understand circumstances where silence is the only viable option for the young and vulnerable but we cannot condone the silence of so-called responsible adults.

How often have I bleated on about the dangers of nepotism and all its many guises in our every day dealings in life? This is yet another. A powerful man perceived to be an eccentric do-gooder is forgiven his many sins as he lays claim to a soft spot in the hearts of the nation. Let’s be honest. We all knew he was odd and he didn’t hide the fact that he could be dangerous – once admitting on a talk show that he could make a phone call in London and someone up north could have their legs broken! But because of Jim’ll Fix It and his charity marathons we chose to believe that his inappropriate looking fondling of young girls was entirely innocent. I for one fell for it - and who can blame me? My mind would tell me that this man was a surly, difficult reprobate but the BBC elevated him to a level that made him untouchable. I ended up liking the man despite his obvious shortcomings - but then again I had no idea that there were greater demons in his psyche.

And how can it possibly happen that a man walks the earth for 84 years and is one step short of sainthood but then dies and subsequently stands accused of the most heinous crimes?

Does it surprise or shock me?

Not in the least.

I have often said that human beings are a naturally scurrilous lot both in word and deed. We turn a blind eye to “loveable rogues”, we favour friends and family even when they are wrong, we even throw out all sense of decency on a Saturday afternoon when we support our football teams by daemonising the opposition. And yes, I have done these things myself so claim no moral high ground. Our politicians are less corrupt than in many other countries so we settle for the mediocrity. Is it just my age or are today’s politicians a joke? Perhaps they always have been – maybe the joke is on us. Having dabbled in local politics I can honestly say that the greasy pole to the top might be paved with good intentions but in stark reality is a slimy dirty business not befitting of decent right-minded folk and inhabited by misfits, wannabes and reprobates. A sweeping hyperbole of course and a slur on all those individuals who take up public duty for the right reasons BUT unfortunately even those people become part of the system eventually compromising their maverick good natures in a self-deluding haze of expediency - or else they simply fade away as shrinking violets. It is these people as much as the police, the BBC or showbusiness insiders who I blame for making society the dishonest disenfranchised mess that it is. Until we nurture politicians who do not throw us crumbs just before an election but who passionately care about the ongoing state of the nation irrespective of election results, we will always struggle. We will always tolerate the Jimmy Saviles of this world. Just look at the inappropriate honours bestowed upon businessmen such as Sir Philip Green, Sir Richard Branson and Lord Alan Sugar. Not wishing to belittle their achievements but hardly known for their intellect, megalomanic tendencies, vested interests in all manner of areas and yet because they scratch the back of certain political parties from time to time they have power that is detrimental to an enlightened society. I will shout it from the hilltops but no one needs more than a million pounds even today and all these people should be taxed accordingly and the money used to float third world equality. Let us not revere the rich and famous per se but instead admire their deeds.

Only then will people speak up and ensure that the little man is heard and just maybe a fair society will ensure that no child in care will ever again be abused – better still a fair society will ensure that we no longer have children in care

The A to Z of British (and Irish) Popular Culture

When I decided to have a crack at publishing my latest book myself rather than through an established publishing house I had no idea of the many and various pitfalls I would come up against. I obviously took advice from friends in the industry who had also taken the plunge and indeed met with my erstwhile publishers Tim Whiting and Alan Samson at Little Brown and Orion respectively. That said, some of the things that frustrate you cannot be catered for, and in my case the biggest obstacle was to find a printer that could actually deal with books of the magnitude of the A to Z series. And I am not arrogant enough to mean the importance of my books when I use the term magnitude I literally mean the actual size of the book!

Various well-intentioned printers attempted mock-ups of the A to Z of almost Everything but alas none of them could produce a finished article that would hold the binding of the book. Try as they may by reducing font size and page display all attempts failed so I decided to try CPI Clowes, the printer that produced the 5^th edition of my best-selling book. Clowes offered me a competitive quote and are now handling both the physical book and also the E-book. Mine will be one of the few quality books available thus far as an E-book. That is not to disparage the existing electronic reference market but the truth is the established so called quality popular reference books such as mine have not been reproduced as it is felt it would eat into their physical market too much. This might be so but my way of thinking is that it is great for the reading public to have a choice and I know full well that some people buy my books because they look good on the shelf, other readers are diehard fans of the physical book, some staunch quizplayers will no doubt purchase both formats (at least I hope they will). But even if the E-market supersedes the physical, so what, surely the reader demand should be catered for and not segregated against. As a former accountant I understand the need to discriminate the sales markets but not the need to discriminate against the buying public!

I’m very excited at the prospect of negotiating with retailers and libraries as I haven’t a clue if anyone will want to buy the book in without the backing of an established publishing house. And of course the marketing of my books has always been done very efficiently by Little Brown, the sales team placing it in all sorts of unusual markets, the best of which was undoubtedly Readers Digest, who sold almost 10,000 on their very first ad and it became their best-ever selling book. And then there is the promotion of the book, the home team have always packed me off to the BBC for a week of half-hour slots on BBC Radio stations around the UK and Ireland. Will I have the same facility on my own? It is all uncertain and even today when I thought the book was in the can and all I now need to do was to set up some sort of payment system on my dedicated website for advance sales I overlooked the small question of ISBN numbers. I had assumed the printer would sort this one out but was horrified to find out that it was down to me! The usual method is to purchase an ISBN via a UK agent and the process takes about 10 days which would have meant I was struggling to get the book out before my intended target of the middle of June (as I have a short holiday planned with a Christian group in Studland, close to where my father lives). I might still struggle as other unforeseen circumstances arise but fortunately a quick phone call to Little Brown seems to have solved this particular problem as they have promised to send me a few numbers before the end of the day which is jolly decent of them considering I am not publishing the book with them.

One of the prime reasons why I have not sought out a publisher for this work and do not intend to for future works (although once I have failed miserably I will undoubtedly bash down the doors of all and sundry with tail firmly planted betwixt my legs) is to keep the costs down and thereby sell my books a little cheaper than at present. Of course I cannot dictate to any retailer and now my books have been increased to £30 it might be difficult to persuade them to lower the price but that is the idea, and I will certainly offer retailers the product as close to cost as possible in my quest to contain the price. Advance sales should be £20 as long as there aren’t too many to cope with and I’ll do my utmost to keep as close to this price has humanly possible, at least for the forthcoming pop culture book and the Sports book which was originally planned to be published via Orion but if all is well I shall now publish myself too.

And what does The A to Z of British (and Irish) Popular Culture actually contain you might ask? Well here is a brief synopsis of what is between the covers. There is a promo video floating around somewhere on Facebook or Youtube (Not sure about the website) but in a nutshell

Television and Radio

In-depth details of more than 2,000 TV and Radio shows

Including comprehensive cast lists past and present

Biographies of well-known presenters

And all the various reality show winners

Cinema

In-depth details of more than 2,000 films stretching back to the days of silent movies

Including comprehensive cast lists and plot synopsis

Biographies of more than 1,000 film stars

Plus all the famous British institutions, Bond, Potter, Doctor, Confessions

What a Carry On!

Pop Music

In-depth chart history of hundreds of bands and solo artists

Including dates and chart positions of singles and albums

Biographies of pop stars past and present

Plus every UK Top 10 listing since the dawn of the charts

Comedy

In-depth coverage of stage, screen and radio comedy

Including Music Hall, Double Acts, Ventriloquists and Stand-ups

Biographies of hundreds of comedians past and present

Plus catchphrases, routines, novelty records and films

Miscellaneous Section

In-depth coverage of those quirky British Institutions

Including Beauty Pageants, Celebrity Mums…..and Dads, Pipesmokers and Rears of the year

Biographies of hundreds of models, presenters, soap, reality and sports stars

Plus Comics and Cartoon Strips

And for the ladies – Magazines!

And for the gents – Classic Cars and Motorbikes

I hope you like it

Why didn't they pick me for England?

Although I am 58 in a few minutes and clearly a stone, or two, overweight since my recent cycling accident I am heartened to know that I am still good enough to play cricket for England!

This revelation might appear optimistic, surprising and even downright delusional, particularly as, although not a bad player in the day, I was never even close to international honours.

So from whence does this apparent hubris stem?

Why do I feel I could have done a legitimate job for England yesterday and certainly feel I could have equalled the contribution made by the likes of Messrs Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan or Anderson, both with bat and ball.

 After all England are currently the best Test team in the world and I am well past my sell-by date, have a dodgy right knee, painful left Achilles, and frozen shoulder to boot.

Ok, as you probably may have expected by now there is a pretext for my flight of fancy and it simply tickled me that the England team went out to field yesterday morning for one ball before mopping up the West Indies innings and then batted the day out for the loss of three wickets. This means that despite both batting and fielding on the same day not all the team contributed to the team effort.  I wonder when this last happened, if ever. Is there another sport where this could possibly happen? Gabriel was caught by Swann off Broad and only Strauss, Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Bell had a bat. This means Messrs Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan and Anderson could have stayed in bed all day.

This is quite different from one of those days when two batsmen have dominated proceedings. England actually batted and fielded!  How could you explain this wonderful game to someone not versed in its vagaries. Can you imagine the conversation at home with the Priors.

"Hi dear, how did you get on today"?

"Not bad love, my pads were a little tight and I think one of my under-gloves needs changing as I swear that's why I perpetrated that errant throw yesterday"

"Yes yes darling but how did you play? You know as wicket-keeper you are such an integral part of the team I'm always worried that you'll overdo it"

"No no sweetheart a relatively easy day for me today considering we batted and bowled"

"So will you require your usual massage"?

"Too tired darling, the life of a professional cricketer is a tough one you know; just ask KP he'll tell you"

The God (p) Article

From the time of man’s first disobedience humans have been striving to understand, develop and improve their environment and living standards. Even before Jesus walked this earth man had begun to experiment with photography and who could argue that the developments witnessed since the 19^th century have not aided humankind in many areas, perhaps most notably in xray imaging and its digital offshoots.

We now know almost everything we need to know about our universe and computer technology is such that the world of computerised virtual reality is heading towards computerised actual reality where touch and smell are added to programs.

My dear friend David Levy has put forward a powerfully reasoned thesis in his book Love + Sex with Robots where he  postulates that humans will soon be having relationships with aesthetically fashioned machines cutting out all the baggage that goes with human interactions. Again, who could argue that within this world which is biased towards the ‘cool’ and beautiful, a large proportion of us wouldn't opt for unconditional love. Would a machine that could actually talk our language be any less beguiling than a pet animal?

The latest development to excite the world of science as a direct result of photography is the possibility of the Higgs boson hypothesis becoming proven. The so-called ‘God Particle’, which is perhaps aptly named as man seeks to become all-knowing,  is being investigated with the help of the Large Hadron Collider (the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator) which lies in a tunnel 27 kilometres (17 miles) in circumference and as deep as 175 metres (574 ft) beneath the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland. The LHC is expected to address some of the most fundamental questions of physics, advancing the understanding of the deepest laws of nature. The possibilities are endless.

As a Christian I am wary. In Genesis: 11 the Bible tells us of man’s self-indulgence and arrogance in deciding to build a tower up to Heaven. God in His infinite wisdom, knew this "stairway to heaven" would only lead the people away from Him. He noted the powerful force within their unity of purpose. As a result, He confused their language, causing them to speak in different tongues so they could not understand each other. By doing this, God thwarted their plans. He also scattered the people of the city all over the face of the earth.

To me there is a fine line between using technology to alleviate misery and suffering within the wonderful gift of freewill granted us, and using technology to interfere with nature and all its beauty. We often gauge the price we are paying for some of our advancements in terms of carbon footprinting but hardly ever consider the deeper aspects of our meddling. We as humans have a very cavalier approach to science and some academic institutes are undoubtedly only concerned in making a name for themselves; and its individuals in winning laureates.

In the wide spectrum of life, taking all things into consideration, are any of these technological advancements a boon to society? It is not for me to comment. The question is a complex one and the answer almost unfathomable. As we prolong our lives quite artificially, and increasingly against the previously accepted ‘laws’ of nature, can we honestly say this is a good thing? After all, one of the promises that God made to us is that we would have eternal life if we kept the faith. This has always been one of the most appealing aspects of Christianity, however the life we are promised is one that is so good that it is unimaginable to us, especially from the viewpoint we have as lucid individuals.

We cannot replicate God’s promise. The economic laws we learn at a rudimentary level tell us that sometimes we have to be thrifty in order to safeguard our future. You might know the story of Joseph and how he budgeted for the seven years of famine and built up stocks so the effect was neglible in Egypt. This is the classic model of prevention of boom and bust that the world is experiencing so painfully right now. When we defy these laws of nature we pay a price that cannot always be quantified. Let’s be honest, it is doom and gloom wherever you go nowadays. Eastenders is almost light relief these days!

I am of course being facetious but all I am trying to say is that to my mind there are far better ways to use our scant resources than on the LHC in search of the God Particle.

If the world’s monetary resources were spread more evenly then there would be more joy in the world. Humans would still strive to better themselves in order to better others. Sloth would be prevented by a new ethos of love and understanding of others.

We have all experienced momentary selflessness whether it be a charitable donation, unconditional love of a child or unpremeditated heroic gesture. When this becomes the accepted norm instead of a situation where we elevate perpetrators then we know that we are moving in the right direction.

As human beings immersed in original sin we can only reach this idyllic state with God's help. All those people who say "I am a good person and do not sin" think about those nasty thoughts they experienced the next time someone cuts them up in their car. Think about the time they lost their temper last, perhaps irrationally. Think about the time they did not give their brother or sister the benefit of the doubt and chose to be indifferent. 

We all sin and our sin becomes acceptable to us over time unless we are reigned in like children.

God is our father, we the naughty children that need growing up. Many of us never grow up.