The A to Z of British (and Irish) Popular Culture

When I decided to have a crack at publishing my latest book myself rather than through an established publishing house I had no idea of the many and various pitfalls I would come up against. I obviously took advice from friends in the industry who had also taken the plunge and indeed met with my erstwhile publishers Tim Whiting and Alan Samson at Little Brown and Orion respectively. That said, some of the things that frustrate you cannot be catered for, and in my case the biggest obstacle was to find a printer that could actually deal with books of the magnitude of the A to Z series. And I am not arrogant enough to mean the importance of my books when I use the term magnitude I literally mean the actual size of the book!

Various well-intentioned printers attempted mock-ups of the A to Z of almost Everything but alas none of them could produce a finished article that would hold the binding of the book. Try as they may by reducing font size and page display all attempts failed so I decided to try CPI Clowes, the printer that produced the 5^th edition of my best-selling book. Clowes offered me a competitive quote and are now handling both the physical book and also the E-book. Mine will be one of the few quality books available thus far as an E-book. That is not to disparage the existing electronic reference market but the truth is the established so called quality popular reference books such as mine have not been reproduced as it is felt it would eat into their physical market too much. This might be so but my way of thinking is that it is great for the reading public to have a choice and I know full well that some people buy my books because they look good on the shelf, other readers are diehard fans of the physical book, some staunch quizplayers will no doubt purchase both formats (at least I hope they will). But even if the E-market supersedes the physical, so what, surely the reader demand should be catered for and not segregated against. As a former accountant I understand the need to discriminate the sales markets but not the need to discriminate against the buying public!

I’m very excited at the prospect of negotiating with retailers and libraries as I haven’t a clue if anyone will want to buy the book in without the backing of an established publishing house. And of course the marketing of my books has always been done very efficiently by Little Brown, the sales team placing it in all sorts of unusual markets, the best of which was undoubtedly Readers Digest, who sold almost 10,000 on their very first ad and it became their best-ever selling book. And then there is the promotion of the book, the home team have always packed me off to the BBC for a week of half-hour slots on BBC Radio stations around the UK and Ireland. Will I have the same facility on my own? It is all uncertain and even today when I thought the book was in the can and all I now need to do was to set up some sort of payment system on my dedicated website for advance sales I overlooked the small question of ISBN numbers. I had assumed the printer would sort this one out but was horrified to find out that it was down to me! The usual method is to purchase an ISBN via a UK agent and the process takes about 10 days which would have meant I was struggling to get the book out before my intended target of the middle of June (as I have a short holiday planned with a Christian group in Studland, close to where my father lives). I might still struggle as other unforeseen circumstances arise but fortunately a quick phone call to Little Brown seems to have solved this particular problem as they have promised to send me a few numbers before the end of the day which is jolly decent of them considering I am not publishing the book with them.

One of the prime reasons why I have not sought out a publisher for this work and do not intend to for future works (although once I have failed miserably I will undoubtedly bash down the doors of all and sundry with tail firmly planted betwixt my legs) is to keep the costs down and thereby sell my books a little cheaper than at present. Of course I cannot dictate to any retailer and now my books have been increased to £30 it might be difficult to persuade them to lower the price but that is the idea, and I will certainly offer retailers the product as close to cost as possible in my quest to contain the price. Advance sales should be £20 as long as there aren’t too many to cope with and I’ll do my utmost to keep as close to this price has humanly possible, at least for the forthcoming pop culture book and the Sports book which was originally planned to be published via Orion but if all is well I shall now publish myself too.

And what does The A to Z of British (and Irish) Popular Culture actually contain you might ask? Well here is a brief synopsis of what is between the covers. There is a promo video floating around somewhere on Facebook or Youtube (Not sure about the website) but in a nutshell

Television and Radio

In-depth details of more than 2,000 TV and Radio shows

Including comprehensive cast lists past and present

Biographies of well-known presenters

And all the various reality show winners

Cinema

In-depth details of more than 2,000 films stretching back to the days of silent movies

Including comprehensive cast lists and plot synopsis

Biographies of more than 1,000 film stars

Plus all the famous British institutions, Bond, Potter, Doctor, Confessions

What a Carry On!

Pop Music

In-depth chart history of hundreds of bands and solo artists

Including dates and chart positions of singles and albums

Biographies of pop stars past and present

Plus every UK Top 10 listing since the dawn of the charts

Comedy

In-depth coverage of stage, screen and radio comedy

Including Music Hall, Double Acts, Ventriloquists and Stand-ups

Biographies of hundreds of comedians past and present

Plus catchphrases, routines, novelty records and films

Miscellaneous Section

In-depth coverage of those quirky British Institutions

Including Beauty Pageants, Celebrity Mums…..and Dads, Pipesmokers and Rears of the year

Biographies of hundreds of models, presenters, soap, reality and sports stars

Plus Comics and Cartoon Strips

And for the ladies – Magazines!

And for the gents – Classic Cars and Motorbikes

I hope you like it

Why didn't they pick me for England?

Although I am 58 in a few minutes and clearly a stone, or two, overweight since my recent cycling accident I am heartened to know that I am still good enough to play cricket for England!

This revelation might appear optimistic, surprising and even downright delusional, particularly as, although not a bad player in the day, I was never even close to international honours.

So from whence does this apparent hubris stem?

Why do I feel I could have done a legitimate job for England yesterday and certainly feel I could have equalled the contribution made by the likes of Messrs Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan or Anderson, both with bat and ball.

 After all England are currently the best Test team in the world and I am well past my sell-by date, have a dodgy right knee, painful left Achilles, and frozen shoulder to boot.

Ok, as you probably may have expected by now there is a pretext for my flight of fancy and it simply tickled me that the England team went out to field yesterday morning for one ball before mopping up the West Indies innings and then batted the day out for the loss of three wickets. This means that despite both batting and fielding on the same day not all the team contributed to the team effort.  I wonder when this last happened, if ever. Is there another sport where this could possibly happen? Gabriel was caught by Swann off Broad and only Strauss, Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Bell had a bat. This means Messrs Bairstow, Prior, Bresnan and Anderson could have stayed in bed all day.

This is quite different from one of those days when two batsmen have dominated proceedings. England actually batted and fielded!  How could you explain this wonderful game to someone not versed in its vagaries. Can you imagine the conversation at home with the Priors.

"Hi dear, how did you get on today"?

"Not bad love, my pads were a little tight and I think one of my under-gloves needs changing as I swear that's why I perpetrated that errant throw yesterday"

"Yes yes darling but how did you play? You know as wicket-keeper you are such an integral part of the team I'm always worried that you'll overdo it"

"No no sweetheart a relatively easy day for me today considering we batted and bowled"

"So will you require your usual massage"?

"Too tired darling, the life of a professional cricketer is a tough one you know; just ask KP he'll tell you"

The God (p) Article

From the time of man’s first disobedience humans have been striving to understand, develop and improve their environment and living standards. Even before Jesus walked this earth man had begun to experiment with photography and who could argue that the developments witnessed since the 19^th century have not aided humankind in many areas, perhaps most notably in xray imaging and its digital offshoots.

We now know almost everything we need to know about our universe and computer technology is such that the world of computerised virtual reality is heading towards computerised actual reality where touch and smell are added to programs.

My dear friend David Levy has put forward a powerfully reasoned thesis in his book Love + Sex with Robots where he  postulates that humans will soon be having relationships with aesthetically fashioned machines cutting out all the baggage that goes with human interactions. Again, who could argue that within this world which is biased towards the ‘cool’ and beautiful, a large proportion of us wouldn't opt for unconditional love. Would a machine that could actually talk our language be any less beguiling than a pet animal?

The latest development to excite the world of science as a direct result of photography is the possibility of the Higgs boson hypothesis becoming proven. The so-called ‘God Particle’, which is perhaps aptly named as man seeks to become all-knowing,  is being investigated with the help of the Large Hadron Collider (the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator) which lies in a tunnel 27 kilometres (17 miles) in circumference and as deep as 175 metres (574 ft) beneath the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland. The LHC is expected to address some of the most fundamental questions of physics, advancing the understanding of the deepest laws of nature. The possibilities are endless.

As a Christian I am wary. In Genesis: 11 the Bible tells us of man’s self-indulgence and arrogance in deciding to build a tower up to Heaven. God in His infinite wisdom, knew this "stairway to heaven" would only lead the people away from Him. He noted the powerful force within their unity of purpose. As a result, He confused their language, causing them to speak in different tongues so they could not understand each other. By doing this, God thwarted their plans. He also scattered the people of the city all over the face of the earth.

To me there is a fine line between using technology to alleviate misery and suffering within the wonderful gift of freewill granted us, and using technology to interfere with nature and all its beauty. We often gauge the price we are paying for some of our advancements in terms of carbon footprinting but hardly ever consider the deeper aspects of our meddling. We as humans have a very cavalier approach to science and some academic institutes are undoubtedly only concerned in making a name for themselves; and its individuals in winning laureates.

In the wide spectrum of life, taking all things into consideration, are any of these technological advancements a boon to society? It is not for me to comment. The question is a complex one and the answer almost unfathomable. As we prolong our lives quite artificially, and increasingly against the previously accepted ‘laws’ of nature, can we honestly say this is a good thing? After all, one of the promises that God made to us is that we would have eternal life if we kept the faith. This has always been one of the most appealing aspects of Christianity, however the life we are promised is one that is so good that it is unimaginable to us, especially from the viewpoint we have as lucid individuals.

We cannot replicate God’s promise. The economic laws we learn at a rudimentary level tell us that sometimes we have to be thrifty in order to safeguard our future. You might know the story of Joseph and how he budgeted for the seven years of famine and built up stocks so the effect was neglible in Egypt. This is the classic model of prevention of boom and bust that the world is experiencing so painfully right now. When we defy these laws of nature we pay a price that cannot always be quantified. Let’s be honest, it is doom and gloom wherever you go nowadays. Eastenders is almost light relief these days!

I am of course being facetious but all I am trying to say is that to my mind there are far better ways to use our scant resources than on the LHC in search of the God Particle.

If the world’s monetary resources were spread more evenly then there would be more joy in the world. Humans would still strive to better themselves in order to better others. Sloth would be prevented by a new ethos of love and understanding of others.

We have all experienced momentary selflessness whether it be a charitable donation, unconditional love of a child or unpremeditated heroic gesture. When this becomes the accepted norm instead of a situation where we elevate perpetrators then we know that we are moving in the right direction.

As human beings immersed in original sin we can only reach this idyllic state with God's help. All those people who say "I am a good person and do not sin" think about those nasty thoughts they experienced the next time someone cuts them up in their car. Think about the time they lost their temper last, perhaps irrationally. Think about the time they did not give their brother or sister the benefit of the doubt and chose to be indifferent. 

We all sin and our sin becomes acceptable to us over time unless we are reigned in like children.

God is our father, we the naughty children that need growing up. Many of us never grow up.

My day in court

Today I attended Horsham Magistrate’s Court for contravening a red traffic light and it was a very emotional and costly experience.


Of course I knew I didn’t stand a chance of having my plea of innocence upheld as the integrity of the Gatso Cameras have to be maintained by the magistrates - and I certainly couldn’t prove the camera was faulty.

As it happened the numerous hours I had spent compiling four DVDs of the troublesome traffic lights meant precious little as the court did not bother to look at them as the legal expert did not feel it would prove the camera was not working properly – my only real defence.

On the 4th May I was driving through Three Bridges at 1.52pm and passed through an amber light on one of those systems with another set of complimentary lights on the other side of the junction. Unfortunately as I passed through the first set the complimentary set then changed to red so I was stuck in the middle of a busy junction and had to drive on through that red light.

I was served a summons two weeks later although didn’t understand initially that I was being accused of driving through the first light three seconds after it had become red.

I remember very well going through the first light on amber and I remember very well it changing to red a car’s length after I passed it as I could plainly see the complimentary set change before my eyes.

On filming the lights I noticed that four seconds after these lights went red traffic invariably came out of the junction road (St Mary’s Drive) but in my case there was not another car to be seen on the junction. This doesn’t of course prove I am innocent but the second picture they sent me had me in the middle of the junction four seconds after the light had changed to red so the clues are there that something was not normal.

Apart from the fact that you would have to be stupid to go through a red light on a very busy road junction three seconds after it was red my memory of the incident is very clear and unequivocal. Of course it is possible that I had an aberration of some sort, after all a member of my family once accused me of swearing at them and yet my recollection was that I couldn’t have done as I simply don’t swear and never have. As the years have gone by I have often questioned the truth of the incident and this episode has brought it to the fore once again.

I can assure you that if I were wrong about the traffic light it would not be a question of me lying to save some money, God forbid I would have saved in the region of £500 by not going to court on a fool’s errand. No, as a Christian I would never lie under oath, and in fact I found myself being so truthful that when asked whether I had seen the flash of the camera I replied “No, but then again when I got caught three times on the same day on a speed camera outside my home in 2001, I did not see any of the flashes then either”.

I think the magistrates believed I was earnest, if not deluded, but the truth is can our memories of things be trusted. My memory is very good and yet I am the most absent-minded person on earth so is it possible that my memory of the incident was built after the fact and I did indeed travel through a set of lights on red totally oblivious to what I was doing.?

The truth is otherwise in my mind. It was a vivid memory at the time and when I parked my car two minutes later in Pound Hill I thought about the incident and I remember hoping that I made the light without penalty as I was acutely aware that it was a close shave.

No, I feel one hundred per cent certain the events happened exactly as I remember and yet how could my car be in a picture that shows a digital representation of the camera information depicting ‘03’ meaning I had crossed the light three seconds after it became red!!

Answers please on a postcard to confused of Bewbush

We are Family!

Lately I have felt like I have entered a world somewhere between The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits and I have just been waiting for normal service to be resumed as soon as possible.


This year has been surreal ; awful in many respects.

The past few months have given me time for reflection and there has been a lot to reflect on as I seem not to be coping with my ‘accident’ as well as I thought I was.

Perhaps it is the niggling pains, the thought of being indisposed for months, the sleeplessness or just the sense of loss at feeling unable to ever again take part in my long-time sport of cycle racing – who knows?

I have some fantastic friends and I know it is a cliché but without them I don’t know how I would have coped at all. I have been up and down, feeling I’m going to die one moment and then feeling strong the next. When I’m in a car I find myself terrified of traffic and any threat or fear, however slight, is causing my body to flood with adrenalin, causing breathlessness and dizziness. One Friday evening recently, a short walk to the end of the road turned into a fight for survival as my heart began to thud out of control forcing me to drop to my knees tearing clumps of grass in confusion. I understand now how my dear sister was terrified of traffic after being involved in a serious car accident in August 1966.

I have felt such a wuss of late and at one point my closest friend actually begged me to ‘man up’. I believe these episodes are panic attacks and can be brought on by the anxiety of chronic illness. It still doesn’t sit well with me though as I feel my faith should be enough to prevent any feelings of anxiety. One of my favourite biblical passages is in Matthew 6 where we are told that we cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying. It is evidently true and yet in moments of crisis we let ourselves fall into the devil’s trap of self awareness and pity. One of the injuries I sustained in August was a hole in my left ear. This has caused me to develop a constant high-pitched noise which I tend to negate by leaving the television on at night to give myself some background noise. I turn the TV off at some point during the night and immediately become aware of the noise and what I began to do was to believe it was all doom and gloom instead of thinking it was just a temporary blip that will pass – all things inevitably do. I have now put all negative thoughts out of my mind since I’ve been back to church and able to read my bible again.

As I say, my friends have been great. I’ve been overwhelmed with lifts and gifts, including my erstwhile bête noire of an Amazon Kindle. God forbid, these infernal machines, that have been responsible for seriously depleting my hard copy sale, are actually quite useful when one only has one good hand.

As always when I suffer stress or grief my mind turns to family. Who actually are my family?

I have five siblings who for one reason or another are estranged to me. I have never really come to terms with it, as unrequited love is never pleasant and within a family circle it is confusing and frustrating and creates great sadness. I know I am to blame for much of it although I don’t really see it as a blame issue at all. We had a quite unusual upbringing and amid our laughter and joy was some sadness. This sadness was rarely spoken about but in our own individual minds I know it was there. We became islands and did not let each other in too much for the simple reason we knew of each other’s trials and tribulations and our way of dealing with it all was to escape into our own worlds.

I have however found great relief within the scriptures.

Jesus teaches us that family is our Christian fellowship group - with God at the head of the family.

I know I have had lots of people praying for me lately and this has given me enormous strength.

My own faith too, although peppered with moments of self-indulgence and anger at why I should be in this present predicament, has also fortified my vulnerable natural state. I can make some sense of it all above the randomness of earthly misfortunes, in fact it is the Christian way to look within ourselves at times of crises and to put our houses in order if needs be. Sometimes we reason that God has been trying to tell us something and we have refused to listen. Please don’t misunderstand that I am suggesting that God punishes us for being stubborn although in my darkest moments I’d be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. No, my natural self tells me that I am so flawed and insignificant that God would never be bothered with the likes of me, but my Christian beliefs help me understand that we are all significant to God so some rationalisation is required.

In my case my life does need tweaking. I have lived selfishly as a sportsman for so many years and even through illness and injury and a doctor’s warning not to cycle any more I have persevered. Sometimes I wonder if it defines me as a person. I gave up quizzing partly because I felt the time allocation was too great and yet I spend hours down the gym and hours more out on my bike.

I have also struggled with gambling and celibacy over the years, the former I used to accommodate by promising God I would never gamble during the forty days of Lent and the latter I would reason was a natural inclination to share one’s life in holy matrimony.

So who do I consider to be my family?

Of course my blood ties are unbreakable and I live in hope of reconciliation. I actually knocked on the door of my dear brother Gary only the other day and although I prayed beforehand that I might say the right things unfortunately he wasn’t at home so I didn’t get the chance to say anything at all. I think he knows I love him though so all is well.

Can people you don’t see be family?

Yes they can. Jesus teaches us that our family are all those people that share the same vision, the same hope and the same faith. When His mother and brothers came to visit Him once He made a point of remarking, while pointing to all His followers, that these are my family. My closest Christian friend is as much family as any of my blood relatives but also all those Christians I might not know the name of are equally considered to be family.

Don’t we all feel supportive of fellow members of clubs and societies?

I pray that my blood relatives are Christian or at least will one day be so. Quite often the state of Christianity is a mere timing difference!

Not a Racism issue - Just best practice

So IVF pioneer Lord Winston has had to issue a public statement that he is not racist after stating that poor communication skills of some foreign nurses are putting patients in danger! I ask you! – this is the man who has proven his humanitarian qualities repeatedly.

My last night in hospital was a sleepless one. I was in pain and suffering heart flutters after a cardiac ablation. I was restless and very irritable and had so many tubes and wires sticking out of me I could not even get up for the toilet. The night nurse constantly monitored me and had told me the evening before that my blood required testing at 4am for some unknown reason and that my warfarin drip needed taking out by 6. None of this was conducive to a good night’s sleep but the real problem I experienced as I lay awake playing hangman on the TV consul all night was a simple one – The night nurse did not speak English!

Now it may seem inconsequential to you reading this but I can tell you that at the time I felt so lonely so desperately ill and lonely that I would have killed to have an English-speaking nurse pop their head around the curtain so I could express my feelings and possibly be reassured or even just exchange pleasantries.

In my case by the morning I was in a complete state of exhaustion and bewilderment.

My friend came up at 7am to take me home as the surgeon had told me the day before and I was by now desperate to get home to my own bed because of the night of despair.

Unfortunately I was not signed off until 5pm and had a very hairy day suffering panic attacks and all manner of anxiety, possibly as a result of sleep deprivation. Things have not really calmed down too much since due to the hospital not co-ordinating my operations correctly so I am now left with a badly fractured collarbone that cannot be operated on for three months.

All I know is that if I had found someone to talk to when returning from theatre so I could have felt assured that all was well then I would have swanned through the mental trauma I was already experiencing due to my cycle accident.

So I agree with Robert Winston – and I too am not racist 

How life has changed since last blog

I do not want to over-dramatise things by saying this has been the worst month of my life as it would be an insult to the memory of my dear mother and my beloved nephew Jason and niece Tammy.


However it has been an absolutely horrendous year so far health-wise and my cycling career has had to be ended prematurely by the post-traumatic stress caused by a recent ‘accident’.

I was cycling to Crawley Hospital on the morning of 11 August to have a heart rate monitor fitted to record the Supra Ventricular Tachycardia I was diagnosed with a while back with a view to ablation.

I almost made it but was hit from behind on the dual carriageway near the hospital and suffered multiple fractures, some of which were displaced - so annoyingly painful and tricky to repair.

The good news is my ablation op was postponed until last Friday 9th September and although they were reluctant to perform the procedure due to doubt about my ability to lie flat on an operating table for several hours with broken bones whilst having catheters inserted into my heart, the magic man, Dr Gandhi, agreed to give it a go.

Dr Gandhi, Tom, Sam and the rest of his team were brilliant. They made me as comfortable as possible before commencing and the whole operation was like a well-oiled machine. They simulated (stimulated in this instance works perfectly as well) my tachycardia by infusing adrenalin into my veins and waited until my SVTs began. Fortunately this worked like a dream and Dr Gandhi found the offending area of my heart in less than an hour and immediately informed me. The team then took down the catheter through the main artery in my groin and replaced it with the ablation wire. It is a strange feeling as you lie there and sense the confidence of the crew although knowing the risks of the operation. I must admit I was forearmed with numerous family and friends praying for me and felt totally confident of a successful outcome, although naturally a little apprehensive of failure.

Ironically, I only plucked up the courage to have the op as I wanted to have one final fling on my bike as I have not done myself justice in recent years due to the onset of what I call ‘palpitations’. Subsequently of course I have decided to sell my bikes and give up cycling as I have been left traumatised by the events of 11 August as I really feel I should not have walked away from such an horrific accident. When the police informed me of the damage to the lady’s car last week it really made me think even more how lucky I was. My bike is apparently almost unmarked and yet her windows were smashed on the side closest to the kerb and her wing mirror was knocked off and smashed and the side panels were scratched and dented. This means I must have absorbed much of the impact myself! Apparently she saw me (well I was wearing bright luminous yellow Asic cycling clothes from top to toe), indicated to overtake me but then found she could not complete the manoeuvre because of traffic in the fast lane and cut back in. All I know is I thought I was a goner and expected to see my brains splattered all over the highway. Shoulder, Collarbone, Hip and Finger injury seems a small price to pay although the collarbone is displaced in four areas and is a work in progress at the moment.

It was an absolute work of art how the cardiac team not only found the area of the heart to zap but also synchronised the timing to ensure the most effective job possible. It took time to co-ordinate but when they finally moved in with all guns blazing their action was swift and sure.

“I’ve got it Trevor” was music to my ears, as Dr Gandhi explained he had burnt that offending piece of my heart (the sinus node) that had caused me so much grief since birth. Yes Dr Gandhi was quick to tell me that I have had the problem since birth (57 years) and now it was gone. All my young years of feeling less than normal as I had to drag myself off cricket pitches or away from playing children. All my teenage years when I gained a reputation of either winning races or dropping out. All my recent years when I have held up my cycling team as I lay prone on the ground desperately trying to shock my heart into its regular rhythm.
All those times that blighted my life in secret denial of being different from others - now gone - hopefully forever.

I felt euphoric of course and I can vouch that the team seemed equally pleased that it all came together so well.

I have to admit the next 24 hours were a little grim as I found it impossible to sleep in the hospital bed as my heart was thumping all night and by the morning I was in a right state and repeatedly had to walk out of the hospital as anxiety took over. Fortunately the friend who picked me up from the Royal Sussex the next day was given a paper “what to expect post-op” and also the registrar came down to the ward to explain to me that it was perfectly normal for the thudding beats to get worse than ever for up to three months before the new rhythm settles. This was music to my ears and made me feel much better about my predicament – and even as I write this blog the sainted Dr Gandhi has just telephoned me to enquire as to my health and implored me to take it easy as he knows I am a very active man. Fortunately I have no choice anyway until my bones heal.

It is truly an awe-inspiring feeling to have had a problem that at various times in my life had impinged on my enjoyment to the point that I had to give up my schools running career and then my cycling career earlier this year – and now it is more than likely to have gone. It actually seems too good to be true which is why the mind plays these tricks and you actually find yourself doing all the stressful things that induced the SVTs in the first place, only now it is impossible for them to occur.

I’ve sometimes, very unfairly, been called a genius when in fact I have no skills at all to mention, but a man like Dr Gandhi has a skill honed and perfected across 14 years – a skill that literally can change the quality of life of a poor undeserving wretch such as myself – this is genius.

Even the month of pain and agony I have suffered pales into insignificance today as I lay on my bed with hope of a brighter future without the inconvenience of having to bear the cross of fear of attack.

To be honest, even if I were to be among those small minority of people who sometimes found their symptoms return (I somehow feel confident I shall not be) I know that the team performed their best and I would come to terms with that horror in the full knowledge that all these things are for a reason.

I felt humbled too today as one of my partners in crime on the cardiac ward is having to have a triple bypass next Tuesday, another has had heart attacks due to post-traumatic stress following a stabbing six years ago, and yet another cannot have a pace-maker fitted as this procedure does not work on the left atrial valve so he is effectively just praying not to have further attacks.

All these men are great men with stories I cannot go into here without their permission but stories none the less that made us all bond and all realise that we are all in this life together for better or for worse. We laughed and joked and generally made light of our predicaments. We knew that some of us would have better outcomes than others. For God’s sake two of these men had already suffered far more than lesser men could stand.

Love is all there is – there is nothing more