Is Eggheads a poisoned chalice?

I was asked to audition to become a sixth member of BBC’s Egghead team recently but reluctantly turned down the offer on two counts. The deciding factor was when the researcher informed me that filming was to take place in mid-June when I had arranged to go and visit my father in Weymouth; however after a lot of thought and advice my mind was already made up that this show was not for me.

Although I am great friends with several of the team, which was a great incentive, the downside is the modus operandi of the production team which lends itself to a rather negative perception of your average egghead as being smug and arrogant. When the self-effacing Lord Ashman (dubbed so by our mutual friend Gavin Fuller – who incidentally also turned down the poisoned chalice) is sometimes portrayed as a know-it-all, or at least stands accused by a tiny minority of being so, then I know it is not the gig for me.
Of course Kevin is a know-it-all in the true sense of the phrase but he certainly isn’t overtly so.

In my quiz-playing days I approached the ‘sport’ as I would an exam and would cram in enormous amounts of information before a competition and forget much of it soon after. When I say to people I have a very good memory it seems as though I am stating the obvious as surely that is a prerequisite of good quizzing. Well yes of course it is but the difference is that I used my memory as a tool for winning quizzes not to impress friend or foe or even because I have much of an interest in many of the subjects I researched.

To give you an example of the kind of thing I used to do, the first quiz book I ever read was a Gyles Brandreth multiple-choice delicacy. Now I could answer every single question in the book from cover to cover and some of them were jolly tough such as “What is the weight of the earth?” however the problem was if I was asked the questions out of order then I was hopeless. You see up until that time my party piece was to recite 50 digit numbers backwards on first hearing or memorise packs of cards within two minutes and my pegs were the traditional story-type mnemonics as used by the likes of memory man extraordinaire Dominic O’Brien.

Of course I had a healthy interest in certain subjects such as Tudor history, most sports except football and rugby, the Bible, Shakespeare, some classical music, some pop music, some literature; but the subjects I actually enjoyed reading were never committed to memory intently, this would have seemed almost blasphemous and certainly would have detracted from my enjoyment. No I was a quiz pro and studied lists of what were required to increase my chances of winning. The great Donald Yule (35 years quizzing laddie!) once said “I don’t read books, I read books about books” and if the truth be known that was always my approach to quizzing. I would never be caught on a world capital, ology, symphony nickname, American president, British prime minister, world flag, autobiography, pseudonym, British sovereign, planetary information, periodic table, Oscar winner, Nobel prize winner, Chinese new year, Greek or Roman god, Eurovision winner, Miss World winner, longest, tallest, highest, Greek alphabet, radio call sign, Grand National winner of the past 50 years, FA Cup winner of the past 50 years, Olympic champions.
The thing all these groups have in common is that they are finite lists at a point in time and very easily committed to memory, take no research as such and can easily be brushed up on every few months to ensure maximum confidence. Other subjects such as film, contemporary literature, television and current affairs are more difficult to feel totally confident about as they are ever-expanding or changing and it is no coincidence that these would be weaker areas of mine. Weaker areas still are pop music and food and drink which are absolutely huge topics to try and research and I simply couldn’t be bothered except in a most superficial way.

So what kind of quiz animal does this breed?

Well in two rounds of Mastermind I went through clean answering specialised questions on Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots. This is simply because I committed to memory all the information contained in my reading list I put forward to the show. I was totally confident in my ability and it showed in my performance.
Now my worst performance was probably Brain of Britain when I scored nil point after two rounds and ended up with a paltry seven points. I had done an enormous amount of research for the show and was probably on par with the database of Lord Ashman (in the stock subjects mentioned above) who took part in the recording after mine and scored a record score of about 38!
So what went wrong?

Simple (notwithstanding the fact that he has the best recall I have ever seen), the fact is Kev sees the ever-expanding subjects such as film as finite lists almost and so his all round database is that much larger than the opposition. What I am trying to say in a considered manner is that although it can appear in some formats that there is little between the top quiz players in actuality there may be quite a gulf.

Kev and I have visited many a stately home together and we will both avidly purchase the guides and devour everything we can. Six months on I will have forgotten all except the aesthetic beauty of the surroundings whilst Kev will still remember the paintings on the wall, who built the refectory and the fact that the first gardener’s uncle was fifth in line to the throne of Abyssinia. Proof positive that he has a larger database and more efficient facility/methodology for storing facts.

This armoury makes Kevin a natural for Eggheads with its insistence on elaboration of answer, although it inevitably does not sit easily with Kev’s amiable personality.

I can think of others that would thrive in this environment (My old team mates Ray Ward and Bob Jones spring immediately to mind) and my old mucker Chris Hughes is made for this format as he has a vast knowledge of many subjects and can express this knowledge in an interesting and entertaining manner. CJ is a born exhibitionist, albeit a clever one, Judith is a delightful and naturally knowledgeable lady and Daffers is simply the best female knowledge expert in the country.

So even in my heyday I would not feel that comfortable with the format as I remember only too well that no-one likes a smart alec but more than that I know there are others out there that are now better players and far more suited to the show. Gavin would indeed be one of those at the top of my list as would Dave Edwards, Pat Gibson, Ian Bayley, Olav Bjortomt, Dave Stainer, Barbara Thompson, Bev Barber, Mark Kerr, Dag Griffiths, Ray Oakes, John Wilson, Alan Gibb, Steve Kidd, Mark Bytheway, Tim Westcott, Eric Kilby, Geoff Thomas, Diane Hallaghan, Stephen Pearson , Tony Sherwood, Keith Pottage, Mark Labbett, Michael Penrice, Darren Martin, Karl Whelan, Chris Jones, Barry Simmons, Katie Bramall, Peter Ediss, Howard Pizzey and Isabel Heward, all for varying reasons (plus 20 or 30 others with quite valid claims).