Apologies for late publication of the A to Z of almost Everything (sixth edition)

So the sixth edition of my A to Z of almost Everything has finally been published this year.

I apologise to all those correspondents who wrote/emailed me since the turn of the year as my initial forecast publication date became impossible for reasons beyond my control. When the October date came and went I stopped replying to enquirers as it became rather embarrassing. Every day for the last month I have been bombarded with phone calls from numerous independent book shops as well as virtually every Waterstones store in Britain. My frustration has been immense as the printer seemed to have one problem after the other all the time delaying things further. My former publisher, Little Brown, have been absolutely marvellous in providing the printer lost files (repeatedly) and have generally ensured the book eventually got to market this side of Christmas.

The good news is that the book was finally published on Monday 9 December 2013 and the feedback has all been good so far. The new A4 format seems to be popular and although the printing costs are considerably higher than the Crown Quarto format of previous editions I feel my readers deserve a larger less cluttered read. For the first time I have not made the cut-off point the turn of the year and so events up to the time of going to press are included.

My final apology is to anyone who is unable to purchase the book this month as demand has been higher than anticipated and Gardners (one of the two main wholesalers in the UK) sold out of stock within a day and Bertrams (the other main wholesaler) have only 200 copies left at time of writing. Another print run is now under way so all’s well that ends well.

As for myself – well I decided to go for an off-road jaunt on my new cross bike on publication day with my pal Tony and as I was crossing a wooden bridge on Tilgate Golf Course one of the slats disintegrated and my front wheel disappeared causing me to smack my face on the ground and whiplash my neck. I screamed like a baby as a jolt of pain seared through my neck and at the same time my right leg locked up in complete defensive cramp. My first thought was that my last remaining pair of glasses was broken so I was determined to get to Vision Express before they closed. As I staggered through the shopping mall I felt all eyes on me as one person after another asked after my wellbeing. I didn’t make it to the shop before the mall staff insisted on calling an ambulance as I apparently looked like the Elephant Man’s less attractive brother. Whilst awaiting the ambulance my glasses were dispensed and my faith in human nature was elevated a notch or three – we humans are good in a crisis. Four days on my ribs and shoulder is frozen somewhat and I have a mild concussion but I seem to have got away with it again and will be able to enjoy the winter ice rink we cyclists call on-road cycling in the near future. Incidentally, I must say a big thank you to my insurance company Allianz. I phoned to report my accident and they advised me that although I insure my glasses, I only have cover for accidents within the home. I happened to mention that I trod on my penultimate pair two weeks ago but didn’t intend claiming as I already had an insurance claim earlier this year after my mountain bike was stolen from my shed. Allianz not only insisted I claim for those glasses but also mentioned that a previous pair I broke last year should also have been claimed for and gave me leave to purchase two new pairs like for like. Heartening isn’t it.

Merry Christmas to all my readers and even if you don’t buy my books – WHY? – a very happy new year to you all and God bless us sinners – even all my atheist friends on the Mensa forum who don’t believe in my God but delight in discussing the non-existence of Him with me at great length and with great passion.

Uri Geller - master manipulator - or are the BBC wasting our money?

So the man does it again - has a documentary shown on the BBC about his secret life as a spy!!!

As we pay for their output it would be nice to think that programme makers cast a discerning eye over their content but how did anyone at the Beeb consider Uri Geller's latest reinvention to have any possible interest for anyone but those that believe that Ken and Deidre drink at the Rovers and Phil Mitchell owns a garage in Walford.

I assume the double-page spread in The Sun - I Was A Spy For the CIA and Helped End Cold War - (P- lease) was supplied by the other master manipulator, Max Clifford, or maybe was a regurgitation of one of Mr Geller's stories from 45 years ago! but hey it works - I'm blogging about him!

My real point here is that I have noticed a marked drop in quality control of our viewing across all the terrestrial channels and I hanker for the days when there was something to look forward to on the box.

At the moment the afternoon quizzes are all repeats, YES Perfection, Pointless, Tipping Point and Eggheads all repeats and at the same time too - UNBELIEVABLE - CJ left Eggheads years ago but he still turns up in repeats on a regular basis!

Even the plots of our soap operas have suffered during the recession and continuity has become non existent.

So Rob steals £20,000 worth of undies from his sister Carla's factory without reprisals but a few weeks later Rob wins £36,000 from the bookies owned by Carla's husband, Peter. Now forgive me for believing that our soaps should be touched with reality but surely Peter would have turned around and said something like "you can sing for your money and don't even think about taking me to court or else I'll tell the police about the robbery" - but no he decides to sell his business instead - as you would NOT.

Eastenders is just as guilty with Ian Beale being vilified by daughter Lucy for taking back ownership of his businesses she stole while he was in his Benny Hawkins phase.

When will programme makers and scriptwriters stop taking us for fools and sit down and discuss plot lines and characters?

And I refuse to even discuss the likes of Simon Cowell

I wish the BBC would employ someone like my old mate Barry Hearn as programme editor as he gives the public what they want in the sporting arena be it the magnificent Prizefighter, Fish-o-Mania, Snooker or Darts coverage. I am sure Barry could transfer his talents to the performing arts. On that subject, I must praise some of the quality of digital channels, particularly the Arts Channel. I tend to watch more of Sky Arts 1 and 2 than any other channels as there is invariably something that catches my interest.

Uri Geller - still doing the same sad old party trick of mind drawing and spoon bending - the ultimate media pony way ahead of the likes of Katie Price but probably blessed with the same amount of talent. Clifford and the other 'jobs for the boys' brigade have a monopoly of the media but come the revolution................

Doctor Who?

I've been busy the past few months updating and revising the A to Z of almost Everything for the 2013 edition so have resisted the temptation to blog. However, I would be failing in my duty to all those die-hard Dr Who fans if I didn't make a brief comment on the latest series, and in particular the second episode of that series. In short, it was, as many online commentators suggested, the worst episode ever, failing the tried and tested formula of good plot line, bad adversaries and gripping finale.

As someone who has watched every episode since November 1963 I rarely fail to find some value in plot lines and indeed the idea of the newbie assistant having carte blanche to travel anywhere in the universe has always been less successful than when the Doctor is summoned by SOS, but this lazy rambling episode had nothing going for it from the start.

Matt Smith is an OK Doctor, a little one dimensional with no light or shade to his portrayal but perfectly acceptable and following in the long line of eccentrics since Patrick Troughton took over from the great William Hartnell. Early indications are that Jenna-Louise Coleman is a very talented actress and her portrayal of Clara Oswald is very good although I would like her to give the impression of being just a tad afraid of meeting all manner of scary monsters!

No, the real problem I'm afraid is the writing. I know I've said it before (and contrary to what some respondents have suggested I have never met him) Steven Moffat is a master of planning intricate plots and, if it is not a contradiction in terms, in making the whole storyline believable. Luther creator Neil Cross wrote this second episode of the latest series, The Rings of Akhaten, and much as I hate to criticise any creative mind, he clearly is not a fan of the show in the same way as Steven obviously is.

Please sort things out BBC

RIP Maggie Thatcher - who could fail to admire such strength and character