Good health to you all but what does that mean?

I feel a little ashamed today.

I saw the surgeon the other day about the lump in my perineum area. He was a very affable man and began our conversation with a cheery “How are you?” which I always find a very strange opening gambit by a doctor as I quite obviously would not have the pleasure of his company if I were well!

Mr Williams was direct and no messing about at all – internal examination, MRI scan booked, advice and leaflets on a side issue of pruritus – oh and he advised me never to cycle again!!
A bit of an over-reaction I thought so I did the usual sportsperson thing and looked for someone who could tell me that this prognosis was nonsense. Alas I failed and the second opinion concurred with the first!!!

Although he hadn’t had my scan result yet the good doctor confirmed to me in writing that in his opinion the subcutaneous swelling can only be alleviated by non-cycling – possibly forever!
Reading those dramatic words panicked me a little as at my advanced age there is very little else I can do to keep fit and I am one of those sad creatures that feels the need to look after the body I was blessed with. Saying that, I am very aware that this desire for physical fitness is a mental condition and only last summer an eminent cardiologist told me that in his opinion I am as much a junkie as someone who injects heroin into their veins every day!

Again this doctor was quite wrong. I would not jeopardise my health by over-exercising and would/could stop if I were forced to.

At the moment I have compromised with the surgeon and agreed to change my saddles and have purchased a couple of odd-looking purpose-built perineum-friendly saddles that I shall relish testing when I am completely healed.

I had an appointment to get my ears syringed today at my local surgery and as I waited at reception I exchanged greetings with one of the doctors . His opening remark was “how are you?”.
I was inclined to respond “ apart from my two blocked ears, tinnitus, SVT, bad back, dodgy shoulder, calf and Achilles strains and the very depressing prognosis of my perineum infection – I’m not so bad”.
Of course I did the British thing and merely replied “fine thank you and how are you?”. The brief pause before his reply of “not so bad” told me that he was probably suffering worse than I at the moment!

Anyway, as per usual the nurse would not unblock my glue ears as they are forever pink and scaly so I just have to put up with deafness until they magically clear. I say as per usual as I have been referred for syringing several times recently but never actually managed to get the deed done for the aforementioned reason. I have been living in this strange world of muffled hearing every morning when I wake and it is quite disorientating. I go through a routine of trying to unblock them with a hot flannel and have had some success on good days but more often than not fail miserably so resort to pouring olive oil in them. This is the recent innovation in ear wax dispersion, the olive oil softens the wax and makes it easier to syringe out – although in my case it is back to the flannel.

Despite these irritating niggles I am actually in rude health and am always acutely aware that so many people have to confront real health issues which devastate their lives and they sometimes have no hope of reprieve.

You see the obsession with physical fitness tends to make all athletes finely tuned and just one short step away from hypochondria. I remember the actress Sheila Hancock saying once when being interviewed and asked about her health “mind you I’ve never felt quite right all my life– have you?” This sums up the condition of the inveterate exerciser.
Two old friends and fellow competitors in very different fields have been struggling with cancer recently.

I read today in the obituaries that Andy Ripley OBE finally succumbed to prostate cancer after a five-year battle with the disease. Andy was a one-off, a true extrovert. After his fantastic international rugby union career was ended so abruptly in 1976 he came to the Crawley area to live with his wife, Elizabeth and three young children and began to train with us although competing for Luton Polytechnic. I got to know him very well and loved his eccentricity and laid-back attitude. He would often spend his time playing with his children before training sessions and then just step on the track to complete an interval session. We often competed against each other in the Southern League where we would invariably both start the day in the 400 hurdles move on to the shot putt and then usually end up doing the high hurdles and relays. Andy was an inspiration to all around him and certainly inspired me to take up fitness competitions and indoor rowing after he won the World Superstars title in 1980 and numerous rowing titles throughout the nineties. You see Andy just loved keeping fit and had no airs and graces about his international career. I find it unusually upsetting that Andy is no longer with us as he was so full of life and I felt his work on earth was not yet complete – perhaps it was.

An old quizzing friend of mine, Mark Bytheway, was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and last October was told he might not make it to Christmas but in typical Mark fashion he has fought on defiantly and although now in a hospice he is fighting valiantly and even managed to enjoy the England versus USA game the other day with some old mates and a beer. Mark is a former British and World Quizzing champion and as much a one-off as Andy was. Mark is not your stereotypical quiz player. He can be bold and brash, brave, hard-drinking fearless but always brilliant. I remember Beadlebum had this great idea of asking all-comers to compete against me on an indoor bike whilst being asked trivial pursuit questions (only Jeremy could think that one up!) and Mark stepped onto the bike wearing his everyday clothes and proceeded to ride a faster time than all the other competitors despite never doing a jot of training. Only the other day Kev Ashman and I went to see Mark with another friend, Nigel. Mark was looking awful, jaundiced bright yellow and constantly vomiting black bile. He hadn’t spoken for a couple of hours as he was exhausted. Kev and Nigel were discussing Pat Gibson’s choice of Mastermind subject, the Pixar films, and had decided that it was not too difficult a subject as there were only nine of them. As we looked at Mark his fist began to open and then close and then open again. Mark was informing Nigel and Kev (the multi-world quiz champion) that there were 10 Pixar films to-date!! And of course he was quite right – sheer genius!

Now you see why I began this blog telling you I felt ashamed.

The most important aspect of our wellbeing is spiritual health – the physical state is often perceived by us to be vital in overcoming life’s vicissitudes when in fact a strong spiritual base can alleviate much of the grief experienced in our everyday lives. I know this sounds contradictory that on the one hand I admit the need for physical exercise as I clearly function better when serotonin levels are high but on the other hand I am saying that a strong relationship with God can make one feel full of joy whatever the physical condition might be. Jesus Himself was always surprised that man placed physical wellbeing in front of spiritual enlightenment.

Only one aspect of my Christian spirit can I feel confident about. You see among many other things Christianity is a desire. An earnest desire to walk in the shadow of our Lord Jesus and emulate his nature. A desire to do good, be good, see good in all people. A desire to put aside one’s original sin and natural evilness to reflect in an open and fair manner. A desire to be tolerant and to love and to forgive if sinned against in the same way that we ourselves have been forgiven.

Christians have this desire and try not to let their natural sinful nature destroy relationships. They inevitably fall short and cannot always find the right words or actions as they are fickle.
Although I am a Catholic I sometimes visit other churches than my local Friary to witness other Christians and sometimes other faiths. I visited the Crawley Baptist Church last week and had a wonderful evening. The first Sunday in each month is open house for all Crawley churches and the congregation tends to be like-minded in its respect for the Church in general. The visiting minister stated a very true fact about humans. He said “trust can take years to build what suspicion can destroy in an instant”. Perhaps we do not trust enough. Perhaps we are too suspicious. Why can we not accept that we are going to cock up now and then but remain trusting and in a loving relationship. It is suspicion that prevents true forgiveness. Suspicion of motives, suspicion of a lack of respect, suspicion of repentance, suspicion of true sorrow. We hear the expression ‘benefit of the doubt’ and yet we do not know what it means as we rarely give it. WE ALL FALL SHORT. I personally fall so short that I spend my whole life inwardly cringing at things I have said or done when not in the spirit. You see I have the desire but am constantly striving against temptation and my physical stubborness.

So how can we be Christians when we continue to sin all the time in the knowledge that Jesus was totally and uniquely sinless?

We profess our Christianity as a statement of fact because we believe that Jesus, the man on earth, son of God in heaven, died for our sins on the cross two thousand years ago because God so loved the world he gave His only begotten son so we might have the opportunity for eternal life, the kind of life that every single one of us would want if given the choice free from the shackles of sin. To understand what I mean perhaps just think of what we call the seven deadly sins and think if you have ever transgressed. Now imagine a situation where you had a different mindset and all those attractive sins such as lust and greed were banished from your mind because there would be nothing to be greedy for or lust after as you would be consumed by love – Is it now possible for you to imagine how a community might exist with a hierarchy and infrastructure better than the present one and how this ideal is carved indelibly into the soul of every true Christian – and no we are not Stepford beings we have freewill and character too. You see we want to be there to see this spectacle, we want to serve our Father as He serves us. We have passion and desire, we remain undaunted when things go wrong for us, we cock up but try and rebuild where possible and where not possible then we pray for God’s grace. We don’t need to see miracles (although all of us probably wish we could witness a supernatural event merely to satisfy our desire to shove it up all those smug atheists) because we understand the importance of faith, that intangible trust and hope that all non-believers would have you believe makes us fools and yet without faith God cannot know you or have faith in you as what have you shown Him? What have I shown Him? My desire is not enough - I am mindful of my old school motto Facta Non Verba (deeds not words).

I pray that Andy and Mark will by the grace of God find a place in Heaven. Two great men on Earth, one no longer with us the other in the twilight of his time (we all still hope for a miracle but thy will be done).