Battle of Hustings!

As a result of Laura Moffatt standing down as our local MP we had the Comedy Club Roadshow, better known as Crawley CLP Hustings, last night at the Civic Hall.

A week ago I had planned to vote for my friend Chris Oxlade, as I knew we didn’t really have any other local members who could gain populace votes in the constituency. I did have reservations as I knew he wasn’t really very well versed politically but the local Labour Party mafia were extolling his virtues so I felt they must be ready to groom him.
However, as these things sometimes happen, I subsequently received an email from one of the two National Executives’ choice of candidate, Sonia Sodha. This young lady was obviously going places. She ticked all the boxes as a model candidate for Crawley: young, highly-intelligent, motivated, articulate, passionate, friendly but determined and as luck would have it she had two Asian parents.

Now this last ‘quality’ might seem irrelevant but the truth is at every other meeting I have attended the past few years the subject of the “apathy of our 15 per cent Asian community” has been raised. “If only we could second someone they could identify with so that they might feel that they have a voice” is a phrase I have heard on numerous occasions – and so naturally I was very excited to find when I actually did my homework on Sonia she surpassed all my expectations.
I sat through a two-hour video of her giving evidence to a Westminster select committee on a subject close to my heart – Education. I was interested in this as I happen to have been seconded onto a Croydon Schools steering committee for the new Government Diploma initiative which begins in the autumn term 2010.
I phoned Sonia to question her on this and other aspects of education as well as find out what she knew about Crawley itself as she lived some 15 miles outside the borough.
Again Sonia did not disappoint. She was well aware of all the local issues regarding our lack of full hospital services, unemployment, airport expansion, Asian apathy, and she even knew all about the disreputable opposition candidate Henry Smith and his lack of pothole funding! (if only he would contribute some of his unnecessary expenses of the past year he might at least retarmac the High Street outside the Town Hall – it is a disgrace!).

I realise I am known more for my ability to answer quiz questions and to solve lateral thinking problems but I believe my real talent is my ability to assess the merits of people. Not all types of people and not on all occasions but just sometimes I can spot a good one. It is not a psychic thing, not a gut feeling as such (although this is often as I describe it) it is simply a series of subtle judgements I am able to make given the person’s body language, manner, background, speech and general mien. Another words I muster the same skills as I use on Mensa tests or any of those quizzes I used to take part in a few years ago.
Anyway, I saw the flashing green lights with Sonia and knew I had to do something.
I wrote to Colin Moffatt, a respected local member, to air my views. I phoned Ian Weller, Chris Redmayne, Chris Mullins, the local party office and anyone else who would listen. I could hardly come out and say I KNOW we have a potential Prime Minister in our midst so I tried to be a little more subtle and ask for their opinions whilst managing to offer my own view. I did not hear back from Colin and after the disgraceful behaviour last night I now know why. Mr Weller also had already made his mind up but the two Chris’s were willing to be swayed at the Hustings (thank God I thought).

We had five candidates all speaking for 10 minutes, the first four were all good although Sonia was quite remarkable and not only gave a rousing speech but also handled the ten-minute question session impeccably. I watched the near 140 audience members nod with her and clap her as she went along. I listened to the loudest cheer of the evening both when she finished her speech and her Q & A session. I punched the air as she strode off the stage………..Surely every single person in that hall could see what I saw?

The last candidate was Chris Oxlade and his ten-minutes were different from the other four inasmuch as he spent a lot of the time reiterating what we already knew about him from his CV. The question-session that followed was an unmitigated disaster and time after time Chris was unable to offer any personal opinion whatsoever and seemed not to understand the purpose of the evening. It was embarrassing at the time and I felt for him very much. He is an absolutely lovely lad and I broke convention last June by speaking on his behalf before voting took place to elevate him to the council representing my own area of Bewbush. This was a no-brainer for me as the man is a legend locally, has his own show on Radio Mercury on Saturday mornings and the popularity coupled with a media outlet is EXACTLY what you want locally. Unfortunately this does translate into candidacy for prospective MP!! Debating skills are necessary, ability to think on your feet without pondering and above all an awareness of the bigger picture. I knew Chris did not possess these qualities in abundance although a week earlier I was prepared to give him my vote as I felt his other qualities might make his position tenable.
Chris’s performance last night made it impossible to vote for him and the woman supporter (who I shall not name out of respect for a very high-profile member of the party) who spent the whole of Chris’ speech whooping and hollering through every faux pas and clapping and cheering every errant word in a vain attempt to hoodwink the audience into believing this was the Messiah we were listening to, should be ashamed of herself and the disgrace she brought on her family. This woman even shouted down a lady questioner at one point when she tried to ask if Chris felt he was up for the job. Fortunately for Chris this wasted some time but the real killer blow came within the last 90 seconds when the final questioner asked “what is your view on Casino Capitalism?” I was feeling so sorry for my friend by now that I was somewhat relieved when the vague expression and sweated brow was now replaced by a wry grin. “What is my view on Casino Capitalism?. Where shall I start” Chris was then given the one minute reminder and it became clear that this was either going to be a killer reply or something was very wrong. I had worked out by now that Chris didn’t have a clue what the term meant but couldn’t understand why he didn’t ask Roy to explain the term. It would be no disgrace and it is a fair bet that he wouldn’t be the only candidate that didn’t understand the term. But alas no, Chris preferred to remain silent and never uttered another word until the timekeeper called time. Chris was given sympathetic applause and I shall not repeat what some of my fellow members commented on his performance but suffice to say the neutrals were blissfully unaware that the hustings meant nothing.

The count came back and Chris beat Sonia by one vote!

Well done the Crawley Labour Party – I have never felt so ashamed since I hosted the British Quiz championships ten years ago and had to announce a skewed result because someone had added an unedited and unseen final round which probably cost Kev Ashman the title, although the winner was indeed a very worthy champion.
Chris Oxlade is also a worthy champion. The party says so! It is just a plain and simple fact that the best person for the job did not win. Of course I shall back Chris, and indeed have spent the Easter weekend delivering leaflets around town on his behalf, but I shall always know at the back of my mind that we could have done something great for our town but failed miserably!

Whatever Sonia does next I know we all support her in Crawley. We all wish her the best and I for one hope and pray another vacancy comes up in the future before she is snapped up by another constituency.