I watched a film last night at Cineworld Crawley. On a Wednesday evening there is a concession for Orange mobile users whereby they can buy a ticket and get one free. This made for long queues not only at the cinema but in the car park and all the surrounding retail food outlets.
This somehow made the anticipation all the more special as the gauntlet of parking, then ticket purchase, and finally food, had to be run.
I paid my £8.60, entered Studio 6 and, after 40 minutes of ads, settled down to watch Tree of Life, the latest movie, starring Brad Pitt and Sean Penn.
Two young lads sitting behind me had been extremely loud throughout the ads but once the opening film certificate appeared on the screen they hushed immediately, as did the rest of the packed auditorium.
Twenty minutes later I found myself enthralled by the ‘Exit’ sign on the emergency door to the right of the screen. I studied the line drawing of the person depicted under the sign and tried to work out where this exit led to.
I then noticed a trickle of people, including the two chatty lads, walking out of the studio. This trickle became a torrent as good-natured laughter filled the air - the laughter stemming not from anything occurring in the film you understand but merely from the ever-increasing amount of people making a beeline for the exit.
In the ultimate irony an usher continually appeared at the entrance to escort out a handful of kids who had infiltrated Studio 6 without paying. If only she had waited a few minutes they surely would have gone of their own volition!
I was asked by a friend afterwards what the film was about and gave a rather glib reply of “it was about 130 minutes” as I couldn’t really explain (or rather I couldn’t be bothered to explain as this would have given the film some level of importance it did not deserve).
All I will say is that Tree of Life is undoubtedly the worst film I have ever seen, worse even than Gomorrah
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