But you sent me away, Oh Mandy!

This week’s correspondence wasn’t quite as thrilling as last weeks but some interesting stuff all the same. It is always nice to get feedback from readers of my books and I have to say they are always so complimentary. That’s the marvellous thing about the type of books I compile. It might be considered a little churlish to criticise my style when my main criterion is to impart knowledge so almost all correspondents begin by telling me how much they love my work before gently adding the inevitable “however”.

My favourite one this week was from a Mr Leese from Grantham in Lincolnshire who enquired as to why the Caspian Sea was not so much as mentioned in my list of Seas of the World in the A to Z of almost Everything. I am always grateful when correspondents add their telephone number as it saves me the time and trouble of constructing a letter and suggests that they may actually prefer to discuss the matter. So I rang Mr Leese to inform him that despite the rather misleading name, the Caspian Sea was in actual fact a mere lake, albeit the largest in the world. The gentleman was a sheer delight to talk to. He explained that “they all” refer to Everything on a daily basis and he knew there would be a good reason. The thing is I feel Mr Leese had a valid point in some ways as I could have at least added an entry in “Seas” cross-referenced to “Lakes”. This will be remedied for the next edition.

Two other pieces of correspondence reflect the ups and downs of being an author quite graphically. The first letter advised me that the sales of my A to Z of Sport had slowed to the extent that, although remaining in print and fully available, the intention was to sell 3,796 copies at a mere 35p over cost (I availed myself of 30 such books).

The second correspondence from my publisher informed me that my A to Z of almost Everything had not only had the largest response ever for a single advertisement in the Reader’s Digest but had subsequently become their best-selling book ever. Wow! I think I can live with that.

Another correspondence was an email from the Prime Minister. You know, one of those personalised texts that I imagine all Labour supporters receive. It was a very nice email on the whole thanking me for all my efforts and outlining the reasons for his latest Cabinet reshuffle.

I don’t dislike Gordon Brown. He is personable and clearly doing the best he can in very trying circumstances. I had the good fortune to be invited to my local MP’s home earlier this year to meet Sarah Brown, and she too was very personable and eager to do all she could to further the cause. Between the two of them I thought they were probably best equipped of any couple to replace the very able Tony and Cherie, although I do not believe that in a democracy anyone should be able to hold a post they have not been elected to. A further belief of mine is that the best Prime Ministers have a supportive partner and that’s probably why I struggled with Ted Heath so much; I just wasn’t happy that a bachelor could make good decisions on issues that affect families.

I still feel Gordon and Sarah are well-equipped to steer this country out of the present gloom and possibly even ward off the threat of recession. I say threat because the technical definition of recession is when a nation's economy shrinks for a second successive quarter as has already occurred in my mother country, Ireland. Of course in actuality we have been in recession for some months. However (you see I learnt the best use of this phrase from my correspondents), I felt I had to reply to the PM’s email in a very negative way as I simply could not understand why he would bring Peter Mandelson back into the Cabinet given his very controversial previous attempts to toe the party line.

Mr Mandelson is a very charismatic chap and undoubtedly has a good intellect, although he tends to use it to scheme and manipulate rather than for more positive machinations. He has impeccable political breeding , being the grandson of Herbert Morrison, but even with all those firm Labour roots he managed to defect to the communist party in a fit of pique in his youth. Mr Mandelson's first Cabinet post was as Trade Secretary but he resigned in 1998 after it was revealed that he had borrowed money to buy a house from Geoffrey Robinson, a minister whose affairs were under investigation by Mr Mandelson’s department! Tony Blair then brought Mr Mandelson back into the Cabinet in 1999 as Northern Ireland Secretary, but dismissed him in 2001 over allegations – later disproved I must add– that he intervened in the passport application of an Indian businessman. The thing here is that even if he were to have somehow turned around his life and there was never another controversy it is still bound to end in tears, mark my words. It is quite apparent that the ravenous wolves will be out to get the errant Mr Mandelson as he no longer has the support of the media cognoscenti I alluded to in a previous blog.